The Ghost of the Hidden Leaf Village
by ratpigeon
Summary: THe more recent history of Konoha, told through the eyes of Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru as they grow up, and grow more powerful. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

This Disclaimer will apply to any and all following chapters: If I owned the damn thing I wouldn't be writing_ this_ damn thing, I'd be going 'haha suck my **** you sad sods, I own the most popular anime in the world!' but I don't, so I am. Although, if I did own it, I'd probably still write fanfics about it, just for kicks. The only difference would be that I would watch all the episodes. (This translates to 'I don't own Naruto')

Chapter one : Transparency Jutsu.

The sun was sending fire dancing across the sky, causing the filigree of the clouds to glow gold as the night began to edge its way across the Hidden Leaf village, hesitant to spoil the view. However, the grey-haired boy sitting tied to a large log in the middle of a training field was in no mood to be poetical. He hadn't eaten all day, and he was a growing boy, and he'd been running around and fighting, and he was _hungry. He_ was also being lectured by his Sarutobi sensei. Something about recklessness. Tsunade and Orochimaru had already gone home, stupid prats. Jiraiya's stomach growled loudly as his teacher's eloquent spiel wound down and was brushed off with a short, dismissive

"Yeah, yeah., but I ain't never been caught peeping with my _Transparency jutsu_." there was a short pause, before Sarutobi said, a pink blush on his brown cheeks,

"You wouldn't mind…showing me this jutsu, would you?"

There was another short pause, as boy and man, student and teacher, novice and master in the art of pervery, reached an unspoken agreement, sealed with Jiraiya's half teasing half-respectful, and all slyly cheeky statement. (Yes, there were more than two halves, but it was a very meaningful statement.)

"Sarutobi-sensei, you're a perve."

And thus, a whole new wonderful world was opened up to the man who would one day be known as 'pervy-sage', by the great wisdom of his teacher.

*

This one was built off the scene when Naruto was complaining about losing the bell test to Jiraiya, and he gets the flashback of being tied to the log himself - this first chapter is basically a recap of that. It's a look into the development of the pervy-sage's pervy-ness. Might contain some JiraiyaxTsunade later…

P.S. The conversation is quoted as best I can remember after several months… If anyone has corrections on what was actually said, I'd be glad to hear 'em.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Seeing ghosts.

Tsunade was relaxing after a particularly gruelling training session when she heard it the first time; a self-satisfied, _male_ chuckle, from one corner of the hot springs. The entire section erupted into shrieks and screams as women snatched towels to their chests and ran for the changing rooms, accompanied by the chuckling voice.

Tsunade just sank deeper into the water, not wanting to get out when her muscles were still this sore, and reached for a kunai, scanning the area for anything that might betray the source of the chuckle. She thought she recognised the voice, but she didn't sense any chakra, and there was no way that he was good enough to hide from her. She thought she saw a faint shimmer, and was about to throw several Kunai at it, before it vanished, and she was left with the choice of throwing her knives at what was probably somewhere else already, and then having to go fetch them, with someone watching, or staying as far underwater as possible without boiling our cutting off her air supply, and enjoying the unique experience of having the hot springs to herself. Almost.

She lay under the cloudy water for several hours, until her hands were so wrinkled and pale that she could barely recognise them, and she didn't even want to speculate on the state of her feet. By this time, some people were beginning to come back into the hot springs, so she decided that it was safe to get out. Grabbing up her towel and kunai, Tsunade wrapped it firmly around her chest and waist, moving quickly towards her changing rooms. As she passed the place that the chuckle had first come from, something that felt curiously like a hand brushed against her rear. Spinning around, Tsunade felt her kunai hit something, and draw blood, but there was no sign of who's blood it was...at least to the untrained ninja. Even at this tender young age of thirteen, Tsunade was a moderately accomplished medical ninja. She was a natural, but what currently interested her most was being able to kick male butt. Either way, she was good enough to be at least able to identify someone by _fresh blood_. It was almost as basic as learning how to limit the amount of fresh blood hanging around outside people.

A faint green glow wrapped around the kunai for a second, and illuminated Tsunade's face with ghostly light. After it faded, she grinned grimly, and wiped the blood off.

"Right then, it is _on."_

*

I need to make these chapters longer and funnier. Thus far it's just been set up, and I'm not really writing well today, but I will strive to improve. Even though you've probably managed to guess who this ghost is. Ah well...I don't do mystery much. ~Ratpigeon


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Budding author.

Jiraiya yawned as he reached the training grounds. Sarutobi-sensei and his teammates had already arrived, but it didn't matter, he had a teacher-sanctioned _excuse_. He was invincible. Even though Tsunade was glaring daggers at him. He'd

"Sorry I'm late, Sensei, here are the notes you asked for, about that special mission you gave me." He gave Tsunade a smirk at that last bit. She would be sooo annoyed that _he'd _gotten a special mission. But not anywhere _near_ as annoyed as if she knew what it was.

"Thank you Jiraiya, I'll read it later. Allthough I still expect you to be on time to class." Sarutobi said, sharing a knowing smile with the grey-haired boy.

"Why does Jiraiya get a special mission, he's an idiot!" Tsunade protested, glaring at Jiraiya, who, in an act befitting his new level of maturity, merely poked his tongue out at her, instead of wagging it and blowing rasberries. "Anything you can trust _him_ with I can do a hundred times better!"

I agree, I think it would be best not to trust Jiraya with anything even vaguely important or possible to fail at." Damn Orochimaru. He was so 'nnh nnh nh' (arrogant, egotistical and unctuously mean). And he was a creep with freaky skin.

"I disagree, this is something only Jiraiya could accomplish, and it also lets him get in some extra practice." Sarutobi said smooothly, before his class could descend into bickering.

"He needs it." Muttered Tsunade, slightly mollified.

"Precisely, Now, onto _Genjutsu_."

*

Jiraiya was exhausted after several hours of trying to keep up with Tsunade and Orochimaru's superior tree-climbing skills. He was about to leave when one of Tsunade's Kunai whistled past his ear, taking a tuft of hair with it. Tsunade's Kunais were actually the main reason that Jiraiya's hair was so ragged and spiky - he got several knives thrown at his head each week.

"I'm onto you." She growled, showing Jiraiya a Kunai with a trickle of blood staining the edge. The blood looked to be about a day old.

Jiraiya shrugged. Tsunade couldn't dob him in. Sarutobi wouldn't believe her (or at least, pretend not to), and she wouldn't go to a higher authority, yet...He'd have to be more stealthy when she was around. "About what?"

She didn't answer, except to smile in that uniquely feminine way that could send shivers up and down any male spine, and leave the training grounds to catch up with Orochimaru.

"I'm _exhausted. _I'm going to the Hot springs for a soak, what are you going to do, Orochimaru?"

"Mind my own business." Orochimaru answered blandly. Jiraiya ground his teeth. Damn Tsunade. He'd been intending to pretend to be intending to practice his _genjutsu, _but now he'd have to go to the hot springs too, and right after that ominous warning.

*

Sarutobi sat down, his lamp casting a warm luminescence around his room and began to read the notes Jiraiya had given him. It was surprisingly well written, and with a minimum of grammatical errors, but that wasn't what kept Sarutobi riveted to the half-dozen sheets of note-paper.

Jiraiya has always had a lot of potential in the authoring business.

*

Does anyone know where I can find a chronology of events before the series started? It would be very handy, I have only a foggy idea (Can't see my own feet foggy, not just early morning mist foggy.) Thankyou, ~Ratpigeon.


	4. Chapter 4

Chronological info from:The Great Naruto Timeline by Suave, on .?t=12409. Whole site is vv useful. look it up if you want to know b'day's or dates for most major events. I'm not sure if i'll use it though, too complex...aargh.  
Okay, I'm not sure what to do with this really....suggestions welcome!...Suggestions needed! To the story.

Chapter four: Mystery notebook.

Jiraiya was practising his tree-climbing when Tsunade found him - actually _practising_. This in itself was not unusual, ecxept that he wasn't practising for his special mission. Tsunade ground her teeth. How did a layabout like _Jiraiya_ get a special mission from Sarutobi sensei? To vent some frustration, Tsunade quickly made some handsigns, focusing Chakra on the tree Jiraiya was climbing.

The prematurely grey boy yelped as the tree seemed to bend and twist, turning to snakes under his feet, and sending him crashing to the ground, Tsunade grinned, she'd used a ninjutsu she'd learned off Orochimaru. That boy had a creepy fascination with snakes. Tsunade preferred cute pink animals, like pigs (and some panthers). "Release." She drawled, wandering over to Jiraiya, who had leapt to his feet, knives at the ready, looking around for the source of danger. His reflexes had definitely sharpened recently.

"What do you want?" He asked petulantly, not quite sheathing his Kunai.

"To see you fall out of a tree." Jiraiya glowered at her briefly, before his look became slightly speculative, and he pulled out a notepad, and began writing feverishly. "...you saw me, now go away, I'm busy"

"Let me read that." Tsunade was more than a little miffed at Jiraiya's statement, but also intrigued as to what he was writing,

"Can't, it's for my mission"

"Give it to me!" Tsunade reached out to grab the notepad, but Jiraiya jerked it away,

"_NO_!" With a startling burst of speed, Jiraiya sprinted up the nearest tree, and, clutching the book in his teeth, managed to make a few handsigns that Tsunade didn't recognise, before fading into nothing.

"Damnit, GIVE ME THAT BOOK!" Yelled Tsunade to thin air. She'd missed the chance to act, being more than a little surprised that Jiraiya had managed to climb the tree, then again, he'd run like his life depended on it, so that might have helped.

"No!"

Tsunade threw several shuriken in the direction of Jiraiya's voice, but each one hit wood Tsunade growled, scanning round for any sign of movement, crouched down into a wide stance that was good for offence and defence, not that she'd need that.

"_Hehehe_..." Tsunade froze as her ears pinpointed the direction of the sound, and reddened, followed by the rest of her face. "You have great legs, Tsunade"

"JIRAIYA!!" Tsunade stomped down, but felt the faint breeze of someone moving away fast reffle her clothes before her foot landed. Tsunade threw more shuriken after him, but Jiraiya was _b****y_ hard to hit when you couldn't see him. She snarled, frustration and embarrassment making her eyes blur with tears. She bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling. "Damn you, Jiraiya"

"...Tsunade? Are you... crying"

"Go AWAY!" Yelled Tsunade, feeling a tear slide onto her cheek. She bit her lip harder.

"Don't cry Tsunade..." Jiraiya released his jutsu so that he reappeared, a few feeet in front of her, notebook noticably absent. "I was just kidding, uh... your legs are hideous"

Tsunade screamed and pounced. She'd been planning to wait until he got closer, but insulting her legs had taken it too far.

Now, everyone in the modern Konoha knows that angry Tsunade is bad, but imagine angry Tsunade squashed into four-and-a-bit feet, with no soothing gambling problem, or the moral codes of a healer drummed into her - _Very_ bad. Jiraiya would have learnt this, if he had any memory of the event other than the description Tsunade pinned to his forehead afterwards, and, when he found it a few weeks later, his notebook, with a piece of writing that was inspired by the very same instant as Jiraiya's preference for blondes (later leading to 'dedication and love' for a certain student in command of a certain jutsu). This was infinitely useful in jogging Jiraiya's memory, and at the bottom was added a footnote - _She has great legs too_...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Tummy snake

Jiraiya edged into his room, looking around nervously. HIs head was wrapped in thick layers of bandages still, but since he'd found his notebook, he'd managed to get down to only seeing double, sometimes he could even see single, but thst always gave him a headache. So he was excused from combat training, technically. Tsunade, in all her kindness had taken to ambushing him, so that his skills wouldn't get sloppi_er_ as she said. Now Jiraiya couldn''t even be sure that he was safe in his own room, and he really wanted to get out of the suspiciously damp clothes that carried the faintest scent of sulphur. Jiraiya actually enjoyed being able to see double, but it made it much harder to stay inconspicuous, and this afternoon, he'd fallen into a hotspring - heavenly, but not exactly discreet.

Looking around, he discreetly hid his notebook, and got changed into another set of clothes hanging in his closet. THen he sat on his bed, and wondered what to do. He was saved from having to wait long by an icy voice carrying in on a breeze through his window, which was closed, locked and trapped..._was_.

"Hello Jiraiya." Came a familiar cool voice, Jiraiya would have sworn, but this fic doesn't include bad language, and he's only a little kiddy...

*

Orochimaru sat on the window sill, letting Jiraiya sit up and look suitably startled. The lock had been pitiful, the trap even more so, nothing that could compare to _his _skills, after all, he was sure to be selected as a Hokkage - even at the age of twelve he was showing remarkable skill, and knew more jutsu than any genin, or most Chunin.

"What the hell do you want?"

Orochimaru surfaced from his visons of glory, and regarded the damp, ragged boy in front of him, disdain practically oozing from him.

"I want to know how you managed to annoy Tsunade. And then I want you to stop it."

"I didn't do anything to her!" _liar_.

"She won't stop complaining about you. It's disrupting training, not that you'd know." Orochimaru nearly hissed at Jiraiya, who reddened.

"Shut up! I can't see straight because that hag pounded my head in. I bet she grows up so ugly no-one can bear to look at her."

"That wasn't smart." Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. Tsunade would have heard that, no matter where she was, so there was probably less than a minute for Orochimaru to do something about Jiraiya. This stupid brat was not worthy to work with him. With a tingle of chakra, Orochimaru opened his mouth to let the snake in his belly escape (it was a powerful jutsu, one of his aces.)

"That's creepy." Said Jiraiya, standing up. "Anyway, why do you care what I call Tsunde?"

"I don't, I just don't want you on my team."

Jiraiya paused to think about that briefly, clasping his hands behind his back as he considered. After a few seconds he nodded understandingly.

"fair enough, I don't really want you on my team either." and with that he seemed to vanish.

Orochimaru silently cursed. He'd missed the handsigns for that jutsu! It must be one of the most powerful ones that idiot had! A split second later, his nostrils flared, in unison with the snakes head darting ideways as it smelt something warm, moving, and coming straight at it. Orochimaru was too wrapped up in trying to figure out Jiraiya's jutsu to dodge in time, as Jiraiya's fists flew gracelessly towards his head, one for each image.

There was a lot of chakra focussed in those fists though, adding extra strength ( this later grew into several jutsu, such as Rasengan, Thousand Years of death, and the Ninja superflick - any seemingly wimpy attack that can knock a Naruto flying) In this case, it was enough to knock an Orochimaru flying, or really falling, out the window.

Except for that damn snake reaching out and sticking its fangs into Jiraiya's hand to stop it's master from squelching on the street below - it's sharp, _poisonous _fangs.

*

Okay, I thought there needed to be some more Orochimaru, so here he is. This stuff is all completely random, but that's the point. Also, if anyone reading has any criticism at all, please _please_ tell me, cos I'm just feeling something a little off in this. Heck, flame and I'll thank you for it. Till next time ~ratpigeon.


	6. Chapter 6

Recap - Jiraiya just got bit by Orochimru's tummy snake, and Tsunade is on the verge of appearing after Jiraiya called her ugly.

Chapter six: Fever dreams

After the requisite swearing, that has been deleted due to the rating, Jiraiya realised that he, Orochimaru, and the olive green snake that was clinging to his tingling, blood-streaked hand were not alone.

"I'm trying to decide who to be angriest at." Said Tsunade thoughtfully, sitting at the foot of Jiraiya's bed. "I'm pretty upset with you Orochimaru, for trying to rob me of my revenge - you should know better - and you _poisoned _him. Every medical ninja knows its their duty to treat poisoned wounds..."

"You aren't a medical ninja, Tsunade, you kick butts for...kicks." Said Jiraya, tring to remove the smake from shis hand, which was starting to go green.

"You just doomed yourself then." Said Tsunade, hauling Orochimaru ino the room. "fine, while he sits there and liquifies, I will fight you for spoiling my fun."

Orochimaru grinned, swallowing his snake and licking his lips.

"It would be a delight." Jiraiya meanwhile was feeling decidedly wobbly around the knees as Tsunade and Orochimaru, and the rest of the room, twirled pirouettes around him. His whole body was tingling pleasantly now, and his hand was streaked wiht the _coolest _shade of apple green...

Tsunade turned around as she hear something heavy hit the floor, ducking Orochimaru's first attack.

"Aw sh-"

*

(And once again, Jiraiya entered a period of time wherein nothing can be documented. Poor Jiraiya.)

*

"-ucks" groaned Tsunade, walking briskly to kneel by jiraiya's side. "This is why that snake is bad, Orochimaru. "Someone should gut the nasty little thing."

"It's not my problem." Said Orochimaru, shrugging. After that, he made a hasty exit, before Tsunade could make it his problem. After all, Orochimaru is much smarter than Jiraiya.

Grumbling, Tsunade began to let chakra gather around her hands, sending a flickering green glow around the room. Stupid Jiraiya, never knew when to shut up, and always calling her _ugly._ Except for when the damn pervert said she had 'great legs'...Who did that sort of thing? Who went around looking at naked girls for no reason? Or for any reason? Jiraiya was such a ..._guy._ and a _guy _is not a good thing to have around a strong-willed woman, or girl, because she tends to take offense at that sort of thing.

After a while, Tsunade let the chakra around her hands fade, and inspected Jiraiya's still body. Blood and pus had collected around the puncture wound in his hand, as well as along the long cut Tsunade had made up his arm to get the poison out. THe plus side was that the green sludge was on the outside now, and Jiraiya was simply unconcious instead of feverishly delirious. At least the Medic side of Tsunade told her that. The Taijutsu butt-kicker wanted Jiraiya to be absolutely fine and healthy again so that she could kick his butt without feeling bad.

Also, she couldn't go home until he woke up, in case he still had poison in him...

Tsunade was not pleased with this turn of events.

*

In the mddle of the night, Tsunade was woken up by a strange rambling from the bed.

"I reckon she's the prettiest girl in the leaf village, Sarutobi-sensei...hehe...Blond hair is so...sexy...I bet she grows up to have _huge _boobs....hehehe..." the muttering trailed into unintelligible mumbling again, leaving Tsunade glaring at the bed. Who the heck was he fantasising about at this time of night? The nerve! After she saved his life too! Resisting the urge to put a pillow over Jiraiya's head, Tsunade rolled back up in her blankets, which she had borrowed from Jiraiya. They'd been hiding from all the dirty clothes and taken a while to find, but they were clean. Stupid pervert...but at least he wasn't about to up and die on her.

"hehehe...I like her legs..."

*

That's it for this chapter. If anyone has _any _suggestions, pleeease send em in - I need help!! I'm thinking about sending them to do chuunin exams...Yes or no??? Then I can do those ninja wars, then _maybe _I can get it up to when NAruto gets the Fox sealed in him. That's about as far a s I wanna go, except for the epilouge, which is practically written in my head.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven:

Jiraiya entered the training ground, his sleeves short enough to show off the impressive scare he had acquired up his arm. Girls loved that sort of stuff - except Tsunade, who would probably want to join the scar collecting competition if she was any less vain. The girl in question was looking slightly smug as Sarutobi fumed at Orochimaru for poisoninng a teammate. Jiraiya would point out that Tsunade had intended on letting him die, until for some reason she changed her mind, but didn't want the blonde girl to change her mind back.

"You three need to be a team now more than ever! I was intending on entering the three of you in the Chuunin exams this year, but..." Sarutobi trailed off with a black look at Orochimaru.

Jiraiya perked up at the mention of chuunin exams. He should have realised that since they had already been gennin for almost a year, they probably would be entered in the eaxams, but he hadn't. Tsunade seemed not to have either, from the excited way she was cheering. That stupid snake-sucker, Orochimaru, had probably been planning a way to cheat through the exam for months already though. He just looked stricken at the thought of not being able to go.

"WOOHOOO!!" Jiraiya joined in with Tsunade's cheers, after the single second that he had taken to consider the prievious paragraph - perhaps perked up was a little too mild?

"I didn't say I would enter you - I need to see that the three of you can work together as a team ." Sarutobi interrupted the cheering ninja. "Tsunade, you need to work on your healing jutsu too, they'll give you an edge over teams without a medic. Orochimaru, you need to improve your taijutsu and hand to hand. Jiraiya...I'll give you some extra training myself. Every Friday after regular training. You're going to need it."

Jiraiya scowled as Tsunade smirked at him, quickly getting over her indignance at being told to work on her healing jutsu.

"Hand-to-hand is...unnecessary for a truly great ninja." Orochimaru said, his ugly snake-face carefully blank. _Stupid snake-guts. Snakey snakey snake-boy._

"Some ninja may argue that, but one of the greatest strengths of a ninga is the potential for versatility. Anyway, Oroghimaru-kun, you are _not _a great ninja, so Tsunade can help you with your combat, in between her training at the hospital."

"But I don't want to specialise in healing!" Complained Tsunade, flicking one of her ponytails over her shoulder. "I wanna kick butts!"

"Tsunade, as medic, you are integral to this team. Neither Jiraiya nor Orochimaru have the aptitude. You don't necessarily need to specialise, but if you are competent at healing your injuries, as well as others, then vvery few ninja will be able to take you out." Sarutobi sighed after completing his lengthy speech, leaving Tsunade only slightly mollified. "Now, lets get on with training. Jiraiya, do you have your latest, ahem, report?"

"Right here, Sensei." JKiraiya grinned at his teacher. That old man was such a perv...

*

someone PLEASE review!!! 0.0 Please?


	8. Chapter 8

I got reviews!! But the chapter deleted, so now I have to rewrite grrr...Anyway, I can do anything with more reviews!!

Chapter eight: Perversion vs. Preparation.

Jiraiya shifted his wight from one foot to the other, feeling sweat prickle his back. He'd been training for nearly twelve hours, with a lunch-break far too short for a growing boy, and now, Sarutobi-sensei wanted him to concentrate on his chakra, not even caring that it was a Friday afternoon, when the hot-springs were fullest - it was almost as good as seeing double.

"Concentrate Jiraiya - you wouldn't want to miss dinner." Jiraiya's eyes flashed open, and he saw Sarutobi grinning at him. That B*****D (I censored it, because 'mean-person' just did not cut it...) was _enjoying _this! Grinding his teeth, Jiraiya nodded, tilting his head forward and clasping his hands behind his back, so that his shaggy grey fringe would obscure his muderous expression. he had to escape...

Jiraiya nudged the ground with his toe, sending a small puff of dust in the air. Brilliant! he could do _that_. sgritting his teeth in concentration, Jiraiya began to do what Sarutobi-sensei had told him, but he took it one step further, sending the chakra he was concentrating on to spread out through the thin layer of dust caused by two weeks of no rain (grr, if we got rain every two weeks, we'd be laughing! Haha! - I live in Australia.). when he ground was covered between him and his cruel teacher, Jiraiya let some excess chakra build up in his feet, not quite believing his luck that Sarutobi-sensei hadn't stopped him yet. MAking a few, general, Earth-related handsigns, and hoping some of them would do what he wanted Jiraiya used his chakra to send up a large cloud of dust, efore leaping at the nearest tree, propelled by the chakra in his feet. A satisfactory coughing was coming from the dust-cloud, but Jiraiya knew at least enough to figure out that the respite wouldn't last long, so he immediately switched into the signs for his Transparency jutsu. He nearly managed to finish it to - a sign of _much _practise as his fingers flew through the symbols. But nearly was the operative word there.

"Gotcha," Jiraiya leapt, more from shock than survival instinct, but the end result was still Sarutobi-sensei missing him by a fraction as the last handsign took shape between Jiraiya's fingers, causing him to vanish into thin air. However, since it was a leap of instinct, Jiraiya missed landing on another tree branch, and fell onto a dusty log on the ground. Invisible or not, it isn't hard for a highly skilled Jonin to locate a wayward student by howls of pain and blood starting to drip down the log you just used as a substitution. Sarutobi-sensei chuckled, and leapt down to the log, but Jiraiya must have seen him, because footprints began to retreat very quickly towards the village, slightly uneven, and with blood occasionally splattered around the left shoe-mark, but very quickly none-the less. Sarutobi nodded in approvalas he began to follow his student, pocketing the binoculars that had allowed him an excellent view of the hot springs from his perch in the tree while his substitute watched Jiraiya - the Lazy Teacher Jutsu.

But, of course, Jiraiya, whose POV this is from, knows none of this, as he limp-sprints towards the Konoha with blood running down his grazed knee, frantically trying to remember the order of handsigns for a transformation jutsu.

*

Tsunade was walking towards her house after a nice relaxing soak in the hotsprings. They had become a lot more popullar in the last few weeks, largely due to the news that the 'ghost' that had been spying on the woman's section had vanished into thinner air. Tsunade was _sure _that it was a complete coincidence that this happened at exactly the same time as Jiraiya's extra lessons with Sarutobi-sensei...

"Tsunade." The girl whipped around, to see Orochimaru standing right bhind her, smling snakily.

"What do you want?" She snapped, feeling a large amount of the relaxation and general goodwill to the world, evaporate.

"I was just wondering how your healing training was coming along - have you learnt any new Jutsu?"

"No! They're just making me go over the basics - I've been able to neutralise poisons since I was three!" Tsunade frownd, getting even more irritated - she didn't tell Orochimaru that she had learnt a new Jutsu - one that destroyed the toxin entirely wiht much less cost in chakra and time - she wanted to complain, now that he'd ruied her good mood.

"Oooowww..." Tsunade looked up, and saw an strange looking person coming down the street - it was a frail looking old woman with a figure that would make grown-up Tsunade jealous. She had a large cut on her knee. "Can anyone help an old woman? My knee hurts."

Tsunade glared at the old lady, but beckoned to her anyway, letting a faint green glow surround her hands as she placed them quickly on the cut, pulling out a large splinter as she did so.

"OOWW!" The old woman evaporated into a young Jiraiya, hopping up and down and holding his left knee. "You didn't have to be so rough!"

Tsunade dangled the inch long splinter in front of her classmates nose. "You should thank me, you ungrateful jerk, and that aws the worst transformation jutsu I've ever seen. No old ladies look like that."

"Someone's just jealous that she's as flat as a fencepost." Muttered Jiraiya. Tsunade shrieked, and attacked. _stupid, ungrateful, mean, perverted, insulting, smug, lazy, idiotic...._

Tsunade continued her mental list of Jiraiya's faults, accenting each one with a punch. How dare he call her flat! All twelve-year-olds were flat! And no woman of any age had a figure like that! Tsunade, who was, like all females, able to multitask, added a kick for each exclaimation point.

"Why arent' you training with Sarutobi-sensei?" Asked Orochimaru, sounding slightly put out.

Tsunade suddenly found herself punching air as Jiraiya sprinted off, vanishiung about a hundred yards away, just before the sensei in question came strolling don the street, reading a sheet of notepaper.

"Good afternoon, Orochimaru, Tsunade. Have either of you two sen Jiraiya?" As one, both of Sarutobi's well -behaved (or at least, _better-_behaved) students pointed.

Nowthere should be a moment of silence for Jiraiya - he was in for a rough evening. Sarutobi chased him around the Konoha four times, pushing the genin's stamina and Transperancy Jutsu's duration to the limit, before getting bored and hanging the wayward student, bound and gagged, from the underside of a bridge until he could release himself. Poor, exhausted Jiraiya not only missed dinner, but breakfast, and lnch of the next day as well.

Of course, by around four pm, when he finally did manage to summon up enough chakra to snap his bonds, and was plunged into the river underneath, he was almost as hungry for revenge as for food.

*


	9. Chapter 9

Okay! All my recent feedback was for longer chapters - so I'm going to start aiming for 1000 word+ chapters. I'm not sure how long this will go for, but probably more than my current 13 chapter maximum. THankyou to Missdude93 and Grey Prince, and if you're still there, Narutotwilightfan4eva and Things1and2...

CHapter Nine: Perverts' showdown.

Jiraiya, a large quantity of food now safely tucked in his stomach, stalked through the streets of the Konoha, all thoughts of going to the hotsprings for a quick rejuvenative peek banished as he searched for his sensei. In one hand, were several freshly written sheets of notepaper, so x-rated that they pratically set fire to the paper. Revenge would be so sweet...

"Is that the new update of your assignment, Jiraiya?" The sanin-to-be spun around upon hearing his teacher/mentor's voice, the edge of anticipation barely disguised.

"Yes, bu-ut, I decided that I don't want to do this anymore - I need to focus on my training for the chuunin exams, and this is just too distracting." Jiraiya said calmly, lying through his teeth. "I just wrote this, to get it all out of my system. I was just on my way home to burn it."

"Let me read it first - uh...you need to hand in everything that you've writtten for security reasons..." Jiraiya almost laughed. He knew all about security, but what Sarutobi didn't know was that he'd managed to protect his own personal copy of everything he'd written from Tsunade searching his room every day between the time she gave him brain damage (chapter 4) to when Orochimaru poisoned him (chapter 5/6). That took security. He also knew Tsunade...

"I'm going to burn it, no need for you to keep it...but I guess it couldn't hurt to read you a few paragraphs. Lets go somewhere quiet, back to my room..."

*

_**"...*************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************************************************** **********************************************************************_." Jiraiya finished and cleared his throat. Sarutobi was sitting at the desk, mouth agape and eyes bugging.

"Ah...I see...what happens next?"

"I burn it."

"WHAT?! But I wanna read it - "

"Don't worry, Sarutobi Sensei, you still have these." Jiraiya said, pulling out a large pile of yellow note paper, several dirty magazines, and various other odds and ends that he'd raided from Sarutobi's house while the old man was at the hotsprings. With a quick jutsu, he started a small fire on the windowsill, and began to lovingly feed his sheets of research into it.

"Don't do that! I was reading those!!" Sarutobi made a grab for the paper, but Jiraiya dumped the last self-incriminating evidence in the fire, where it immolated beautifully, swiftly and totally, before leaping out the window with the rest of the porn.

"SARUTOBI"S A PE-ERVE!!!!" he yelled at the top of his voice, calling up his transparency jutsu as his now quite irate teacher began to chase after him. "HE PEEKS ON ALL THE GI-IRLS!!!" THere was the beginnings of displeasured mutterings rising up from the women of Konoha. Now he just needed to enrage the scariest one. "HE LIKES TSUNADE'S LE-EGS!!!" At this line, Sarutobi began to pale. He knew full well what Tsunade's reaction to perverts was. This momentary faltering was enough for Jiraiya to retreat to a safe distance and finish his song. "AND BLONDIES MAKE HIM BE-EG!!!"

Now, I believe there has already been a moment of silence for Jiraiya previously? Let us now take one for this poor old pervert. And any man who falls to Tsunade's anti-perversional wrath....Okay, enough silence, onwards, and we will find out exactly why this moment was necessary.

As a pair of Blond pigtails travelled at a speed which left her wrathful shriek coughing in the dust, Jiraiya began to generously distribute Sarutobi's porn, right over the female section of the hotsprings, from where he stood, now on the dividing fence - great view.

"Look at what he reads! We should make him pay, For all his dirty deeds!!" Jiraiya began again, more softly. However, it had the desired effect - inciting every Kunoichi in the springs to leave the steamy water and go after Sarutobi as well. It was a sight that nearly incapacitated Jiraya. With Tsunade added, the old man didn't have a chance.

*

Sarutobi ran for it as soon as he heard the word Tsunade pass between Jiraiya's lips. That sneaky little peeping tom had gotten him. He didn't even deserve the title of 'pervert'.

Something small and blonde rammed with great force into Sarutobi's back, and, seconds later, it was accompanied by a scream of rage.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" Sarutobi fell off the roof, Tsunade propelling him several metres horizontally, before he landed hard in the street. "YOU'RE MY TEACHER!! ALL MEN ARE PERVERTS AND SICKOS AND SHOULD** DIE!!**"

"I agree." Came another voice. Sarutobi looked up. Tsunade still pounding on his back - fortunately she hadn't quite gotten to the stage of using weapons on him yuet, but her taijutsu was still formidable...

But not nearly as formidable as what he saw atop the forest of bare pale legs - no I'm not talking about that, I'm referrring to dozens of Kunoichi united in the purpose of destruction - and promptly caused any rational thought to vanish from the beleguered teacher's mind, except for horniness, which was very shortly outweighed by pain, pain and more pain.

Girl power is quite a terrifying phenomenon.

*

PLEASE REVIEW THIS DAMN THING!!!!!!!!! It's got EIGHT alerts, EIGHT favourites, and _**SIX **_reviews! Come on!! Please review??? I'm desperate! *Breaks down and starts crying* You all hate me..... *sobsob*


	10. Chapter 10

I got revie-ews I got revie-ews I got revie-ews! Sorry Prince Grey for mistyping your name, and RavenAngel, they will probably be at their exams by chapter eleven.

Chapter ten: Final Preparation.

Jiraiya stiffened slightly as he heard Sarutobi walk past, checing all of his students for signs of distraction. Sensei hated him, ever since he'd gotten his revenge, and was now picking on him. Tsunade was grumpy at being manipulated into the dirty work, and Orochimaru, that snake-sucker, was grumpy at having his training disrupted by a critically injured teacher. Everyone hated Jiraiya, and now he was going to-

WHACK!!

Jiraiya stifled a yelp as the large stick in Sarutobi's hand connected with Jiraiya's shoulder. This meditaiton training was horrible. It went against every instinct he'd honed as a ninja to let someone walk around with a weapon, while you had your freakin eyes closed!

WHACK!!

That was the other shoulder. Jiraiya heard Tsunade giggle, oh so softly, but, since she was in the bad books with the increasingly touchy Sarutobi-sensei too...

WHACK!!

Orochimaru, perfect as ever, stupid favoured snake-sucker scum (nice alliteration there dontcha think?), was simply sitting, and meditating, to 'cleanse his mind of stress and trivia' before the Chuunin exams. He was not getting hit with a big stick. That was not fair.

_Jiraiya, lets get out of here, before Sarutobi-sensei decapitates us with his stick. _Jiraiya almost jerked, as his mind started to think of its own accord, talking to him in second person. _No, I am not you. don't ever confuse me with you. This is all medical jutsu. I use my chakra to make your brain think stuff. or do stuff. And if I ever catch you perving on me again, I will make you castrate yourself. _Athe this point, Tsunade made Jiraiya think up a lovley, graphic image of what castrate meant, complete with blood and the expression of intense pain. Jiraiya involuntarily glanced at his lap to make sure nothing important was missing.

_I'm glad we understand each other. _

Jiraiya was suddenly possessed by the urge to use a transparency jutsu. Before he even considered that it might not be an actual urge - it certainly seemed a logical way to escape the avenging stick-man - his hands had started forming the symbols.

WHACK!!!

Jirayia thought he heard something break as the stick connected again with his shoulder. Beside him, Tsunade disapeared in a puff of smoke, and Jiraiya couold hear her sneaky little feet pattering away. cursing her, Jiraiya followed, using the same smoke as a disguise - his left arm didn't seem to want to move, and it hurt like...bad words. many bad words here, that will be edited due to rating.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE TWERPS!" Sarutobi yelled, leaving Oroachimaru to run off after his two wayward students. The pale boy smiled, and stood up to leave. His teammates were so predictable.

*

Jiraiya ran like his life depended on it - which, not to sound cliched, it did - hearing Tsunade run beside him. THe girl was as fast as he was - probbly because she didn't have any breasts to add to weight and wind resistance. Such a shame...

Two kunai sliced Jiraiya's hair into a new pattern of raggedness, while a third lodged itself in the bow of the long strip of cloth (which would be _inconceievable_to call a ribbon) that held his over-robe closed.

"Stop leering at me and run you idiot."snarled Tsunade as they heard Sarutobi's footsteps vanish from behind them - bad sign, very bad sign - he'd increased his concentration, decreasing their survival chances by half (it sounds more impressive than 'by ten percent' - from a generous twenty, Sarutobi's still injured).

Jiraiya didn't ned telling a second time - he remembered hanging under the bridge all to well.

Unfortunately, Sarutobi managed to get several steps ahead of them.

THey never saw the trap coming - a large gas of choking green gas that sent immobilising tingles through their muscles from exposed points of skin.

"Aw cr-" Jiraiya heard Tsunade mutter, before the toxins immobilised her tongue. The grey-haired student, on the other hand was quite pleased with the fact that the gas numbed his throbbing arm as well.

As the smoke cleared, Sarutobi appeared, arms folded and shaking his head disappointedly.

"I expected better, especially of you Jiraiya, you've had practise in this sort of thing. Now I have to go and find something to hang the two of you off. How do you expect to pass chuunin if you can't even outrun an old man like me?" With a few handsigns, several ropes wrapped around Tsunade and Jiraiya, dragging the students after their lecturing teacher. "Your teamwork was hopeless. Tsunade, good work coordinating Jiraiya and getting him to take the fall for you, but you should have taken Orochimaru as well - this is a three-person team - and you should have healed Jiraiya's broken collarbone as first priority. he can't help if he can't use jutsu or fight. Jiraiya, you should have noticed that trap, your paranoid about security in your own home, how long has it been since your parents managed to get into your room? In Konoha, you have to be even more careful, in fire country, more careful still, and in any enemy territory, you have to be so careful that you start sprouting extra eyes and ears."

"Put me down you old Pervert!! Let us go!" Tsunade was wriggling in her bonds, to no avail - although Jiraiya did notice that she could twist quite amazingly as she tried to pull a kunai out of its sheath on her thigh. It hiked her dress up in a most intriguing manner.

"The two of you are never going to make decent ninja. You realise that don't you? YOu may be able to get through the chuunin exams with Orochimaru, but the Jonin exams are individual." Sarutobi continued, oblivious to Tsunade, who had abandoned her goal of drawing a knife, and was now trying to preserve her modesty and glare at Jiraiya - first objective; failed, second; flying colours.

Sarutobi stopped and looked around. They were standing at the top of a large ravine, with the sound of gushing water faintly audible at the bottom. Thick crags covered in moss and slime stuck out from the sides. To their left, the river that supplied Konoha village with water flung itself of the cliffs, sending up plumes of white spray before coninuing, down into this lovely, slippery-sided ravine (anyone recognise it?)

"Hm." Sarutobi peered off the edge, the river was barely visible beneath, a streak of deeper darkness against the gloom that the sun didn't reach. "I think we could make this a little deeper. Earth Style: Endless Crevasse!" With a dozen lightning fast handigns, Sarutobi-sensei pressed his hands to the ground, and with a groan, the river sunk even deeper into the ground, which shuddered and buckled at the abuse. After a few minutes, Sarutobi took his hands away from the earth, wiping a fain sheen of perspiration from his forehead. "This ravine really is quite wide, isn't it, children? Anyway, I'm going to suspend you from the middle of the ravine, about fifty feet down. My chakra will keep you in the air until sunset, if you stay withing the area of the jutsu. Please escape before then, I wouldn't like having to explain that I let the Hokage's granddaughter fall to her death in a training exercise." Sarutobi made a few more handsigns, calling this jutsu 'Air style: I'm Walking on sunshine', and dragged his still bound students out and down, to where he had promised to hang them. Jiraiya began to sweat as he realised that his sensei was actually serious; that was right around the time he left them sitting in thin air, twenty feet out from the side of the ravine, and with about two hours of sunlight left.

"I don't wanna die..."

*

BWAHAHAHA!! Sarutobi's Revenge! This was mean, wasn't it? well, at least you can probably take ccomfort in the fact that they won't die, and even if they did, Orochimaru would probably rectify that, creepy little necromancer that he is. Then again, if no-one reviews, I may just kill em off....


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, I got reviews, so they won't die. Now I just need to think of some way to keep em alive...Oh yeah, and by the way, those two jutsu I used last chapter - completely fake. Just so you know, if you read this bit.

And, just to refresh my disclaimer, which still applies: Disclaim. Read chapter one if you want to see my disclaimer.

Chapter Eleven: Hanging in.

Jiraiya and Tsunade sat huddled in the centre of the disturbingly amorphous bubble of air holding them hgundreds of feet above the river, far far below.

"You stupid idiot, Jiraiya, we're going to die, and it's all your fault." Whimpered Tsunade, chewing on a blond strand of hair.

"Me? How is this my fault??" Snapped Jiraiya back, elbowing Tsunade grumpily - unfortunately he didn't account for how small their support really was.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" The grey-haired kid felt his arm nearly wrenched out of it's socket as Tsunade grabbed it, to prevent herself from falling into the abyss below. "YOU IDIOT!!!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, just let go..." muttered Jiraiya through gritted teeth. The blond genin was really heavy.

"NO! PULL ME UP!!" Demanded Tsunade. hwen her orders weren't immediately obeyed, she seemed to crumple, and Jiraiya got a brief glimpse of how scared she really was. "Please...."

Swallowing at this unaccustomed display, jiraiya retreated to the far edge of their amorphous support, managing to drag Tsunade half onto it. Her breathing was harsh and panicked - not that Jiraiya was much better - and the team clown decided that he would be a gentleman and clam her down...and find a way to stop them both from falling to their deaths...

"Hey, Tsunade, shh, it's okay..." Jiraiya gripped the shoulders of her pale blue dress and heaved her the rest of the way onto the air, before gingerly wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Shut up." snapped Tsunade, but she did not pull away. Jiraiya, with his arm hanging around Tsunade's shoulder, and his hand dangling around chest height, discovered, to his great delight, that she was not, quite entirely boobless, and she was too scared to slap him.

Oh yes, the perilous fall and dwinling sunlight. About that...

"If only we could turn that hair of yours into a rope or something - there's enough of it." Tsunade seemed to have not even noticed the lechery of his strategic hand placement, but Jiraiya was distracted from his good fortune as she began tugging on his hair. "If only this stuff wasn't dead - I know a few techniques for fast growth that might help..."

"My hair is not dead, stop pulling!" Jiraiya growled, tugging his head away from Tsunade. "Try the jutsu.

"It won't work."

"It will. Just show me the handsigns. My magnificent mane will build a bridge to the heavens and beyond, and rescue us from this awful fate." Jiraiya was slightly hyper on adrenalin, and waxing poetic...one should probably call him drunk actually...

"if your mane is magnificent then I'm a frog." muttered Tsunade, but for the want of a better idea, she showed Jiraiya a complex series of handsigns. "There. It's just a medical jutsu, and it won't work on your hair."

"Yes it wil. See watch." Jiraiya went through the handsigns, infusing it with as much chakra as he could at once, and released. "Amazing wild mane of awesome escaping!"

Tsunade stifled a laugh, as Jiraiya's hair, inspite of the monologue, remained unruly ,spiky, and most importantly, short.

"Hmmm...I need to...I ned some encouragement. How about you give me a kiss to inspire me?" At this point Jiraiya was just joking around, he didn't even bother to hope that she mihgt cave. So, all in all, her reaction was no surprise.

"EEEWW!! No Way in hell! Pervert!"

"...Fine. but if I grow my hair and get us out, you have to give me a kiss...on the lips. Its a _bet." _

Tsunade mulled this over for about five minutes, before the air bubble objected to the sinking sun.

"Fine, fine!! Just get us out of here!"

"Untameable lion's mane!!" Jiraiya said, adding a few extra handsigns. Nothing happened.

"That is really quite pathetic, even for you Jiraiya." Came a cold, smarmy voice from the distant lip of the canyon. "But, then again, I did hear you shouting, so it wasn't an entirely wasted effort."

"Orochimaru!! Help us!" Tsunade yelled, ecstatic at the sound of snake-boy's voice. Stupid smarmy....

"Of course. We are after all, a _team."_

l With that, Orochimaru bit his thumb, and with a long series of complex handsigns, pressed it into the ground, murmuring "Summoning Jutsu." It was with a disgustingly casual ease that, at the age of twelve, he conjured up his huge black and purple snake, who we all know is called Manda. "Excuse me, Manda, could you please fetch my teammates from their...predicament? And please don't block the sunshine, it's the only thing holding them up."

"I guess so, but are you sure you couldn't have summoned someone _else _for htis task, Orochimaru?" The snake hissed, its long flat head descending towards the two genin in the canyon, Orochimaru perched on top as he casually chatted with the king of all Snakes.

"Only you're long enough - they're really quite far down." The snake didn't respond to that, simply hissing in exasperation, it's tongue flicking out towards Jiraiya's face, its nose wrinkling in distaste at his scent.

Tsunade seemed torn between horror and delight as she examined the snake's large, purple head.

"Thankyou so much Orochimaru, you really saved our bacon! And this is such a high level jutsu... you should teach Jiraiya a thing or two." Tsunade gushed as Orochimaru gallantly helped her onto the snake.

"Thankyou Manda, you can eat the other one as a reward."

"No, I _refuse_ to put _that_ in my mouth...I expect payment twice over next time." With that, Manda began to pull away from Jiraiya, who barely managed to grab on to the slippery scales, and took his load up to the edge of the cliff.

"You'd better have a meal ready next time you summon me, Orochimaru." Hissed the huge snake menacingly, before he vanished, his three passengers alighting safely on the ground, with an hour of sunlight up their sleeves.

"That was one creepy snake." Muttered Tsunade, before turning back to Orochimaru. "Thanks _so _much for saving us, Orochimaru...As thanks, I'll treat you to dinner at my place..." Seeing the slightly panicked look on Orochimaru's face when Tsunade mentioned food at her place, she clarified. "don't worry, my mum's a great cook...unlike me." Jiraiya's mouth dropped in amazement as Tsunade made a joke _at her own expense._ That was even more outrageous than the fact that she was practically asking Orochimaru out...Wait a second!! She was _asking Orochimaru out!!! Sleazy snake-sucker!_

"Well then, I'd be glad to come, Tsunade. I'm sure your mother cooks a lot better than me too."

That little piece of...

*

Poor Jiraiya, missed out on a kiss...and now Tsunade and Orochimaru...hmmm...(I always got the impression that he had a thing for her in that big fight near the start of the series, when their all up on their summonings, and Naruto's just mastered Rasengan.)... So, whaddaya think? Tell me, Review! The green button, Two words even! PLEEEEASE?

Oh yeah, and I've decided I'm going to make up timing and order of events up. so if you thoroughly object to that, I apologise, but I can't find agreeing accounts, so I don't have much choice (Someone said Jiraiya made genin at 6 or something weird...)

Oh yeah, I also made a new story - 'Naruto's sexy Jutsu revenge' Please read it,but first read Naruto's Sexy jutsu. I hope you enjoy! ~Ratpigeon


	12. Chapter 12

This chapter was hard to write, but I hope you guys like it. This Chuunin exam is pretty much made up, with little relation to Naruto's one, since they change every year. Also, I think that before the Great ninja wars the exams were individual to each village....

Chapter Eleven: Written exam.

"Okay, children, we are in enemy territory for the duration of the chuunin exams. At this point your classmates become your enemies, and you will probably meet Ninja you hjave never seen before. This exam is not easy, and many repeat, most spending as little time in Konoha between attempts. Some may not hesitate to kill you if they think they can pass by doing so. You children are young, you can back out now if you want." Sarutobi said, walking with his three gennin to the waiting hall for the exam. They had been told that they had to be an hour early or they wouldn't be allowed to sit the test.

"Orochimaru, help me study..." groaned Tsunade under the weight of a large pile of books. "I _hate _written exams." Snake-boy grinned at Jiraiya, before turning to the blonde kunoichi. Stupid snake-sucker stealing Tsunade since he summoned a stupid snake and saved her. Ssssssssss...

Jiaraiya jumped, he could have sworn he heard a hiss, but it was only all of the 'S's going through his head. Part of his charm as a writer was a talent for alliteration. Jiraiya wasn't actually worried about the written exam, he could write, and Orochimaru needed them to get through as well, so he'd give them all the answers...heheh stupid snakeboy. Of course, all of this lovely confidence wore off as the Proctor called for the students to enter the hall - after the nerve-wracking, hour-long wait - smiling evilly at them. Many of the aspiring Chuunin looked _really damn scary._ And a lot of them were old too. No-one was wearing bright aqua like Tsunade, even Jiraiya's red and grey overcoat was suspiciously bright.

"Okay, Your written test has three questions. They're fairly easy, but I coded them." Said the Proctor cheerfully. Jiraiya noticed that he looked about sixteen, as he continued. "Oh, yes, and I accidently put my twelve copies through a paper shredder and lost them. So I suggest you hurry and find them before someone else. When all the fragments are returned to me, I will call the test to an end. There are no rules. Dismissed." With that, the proctor went and sat down in his chair, whistling cheerfully as the room emptied.

"I love my job."

*

The three Gennin/chuunin in-betweens ran through the Konoha, looking for scraps of paper. They already had one - Orochimaru had forund a piece of paper covered in numbers stuck to the roof of the exam hall...it was about two centimetres square.

"Tsunade, you take another gennin team and if they find any scraps, contact me. Jiraiya, do the same." Said Orochimaru, pausing and summoning up three small black snakes and sending them to do the same. "I'll keep loking. The most important thing is to find the test." However, Orochimaru being the sneaky snake he is and was and will always be, had no intention of actually searching. He was going after the Proctor.

With several more handsigns, Orochimaru summoned up another glistening black snake, this one wrapped itself around his shoulders, long fangs salivating with clear, deadly toxins.

*

Jiraiya snuck up on the three gennin who were examining a handful of paper scraps. It had been half an hour since the exam began, and already the creepy black snake had given him four, and this would give him five more. It also gave him a chance to try the jutsu he'd been working on since that stupid day in the ravine.

"Wild Lion's Mane Jutsu." Jiraiya said, and his short spiky grey hair grew out to wrap around the three black clad gennin. Of course, the transparency jutus made it invisible. Jiraiya reeled in his prey, slowly and carefully, until they were right in front of him.

"WHat's going on?" yelled one kid to his teammate.

"It's the Ghost!" yelled the girl. "He's going to take advantage of me! Protect me you meatheads!" Jiraiya almost gagged. The girl in question was flat, dark haired and frankly, quite ugly.

"Chihiro, calm down, nobody would take advantage of you."

The girl yelled and shook her fist at the boyt who spoke, iving Jiraiya a chance to grab the paper she was holding out of her hands, and, just for posterities sake, cop a feel.

"EEEEK!"

*

Tsunade was holding a small handful of papers when shee heard the sound of an innocent girl in the presence of Jiraiya. He must have gotten distracted.

"Hey, Look what I got." Said Jiraiya, just as the thought formed in her head. He materialised, holding several pieces of paper as well.

Tsunade raisedan eyebrow.

"Oh, and by the way, you owe me a kiss." Said Jiraiya, grinning, "Wild Lion's Mane Jutsu!" Adn with that his hair grew and began moving towards her. Tsunade gagged.

"Get away from me, you hairball! I do not owe you a kiss! The deal was if you got us out of the ravine. Orochimaru did that, and _he _got the kiss." Jiraiya froze, hair deflating.

"Oh...well, then, we should probably start decoding this. you signal Orochimaru."

*

"Kid...stop this..." The proctor was pale and sweating as Mankoto's fangs hovered above his neck. He was facing a girl about his age, with mousy brown hair and a sweet smile.

"You said there are no rules, so, I'm using interrogation methods to get the questions and answers out of you. Don't worry, my snake won't kill you, Mankoto will only cause excruciating pain with her toxin."

"I only know the code...Hokage wouldn't let me see the question sheet...he must have guessed that someone might try this." THe Jonin swallowed. What a pathetic ninja he was, he wasn't even brae enough to lie.

"Fine then, tell me the code."

"Basic modulated code, rotates one every letter, starts with A as five..." Orochimaru's eyes narrowed, and he jerked his head at Mankota, who sunk her sharp fangs int ohis neck. The Proctor screamed once before slumping unconcious to the ground, muscles twitching, and the snake disappeared. He'd be unconcious for only half an hour, but there was no way the test would end in that time, so no-one would know, and Orochimaru had gotten the code. Releasing the transformation jutsu, Orochimaru made hi way to the rendevous.

*


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter twelve:

"We've managed to get almost a page, Orochimaru, what about you?" Tsunade asked. She was sitting about three metres away from Jiraiya, and refused to even look at him. Orochimaru smiled, seeing the expression on his 'teammate's' face.

"I found a team that had figured the code out, but already handed in their paper. They passed with only one correct answer, but if we get them all, then we will get an advantage in the next part. Give me the paper."

Orochimaru began fitting the pieces together, noticing that there were no overlaps, the pages had all been sliced in the same way - lazy. And so was the code.

_1 15,11,17,5 24,26,8,22,13,29......_(I could only be bothered to do the first three words in code)

_A ninja stands fifty feet north of you, standing at the bridge across the Konoha river, and the wind is blowing from the south. They cannot see you currently, but they know where you are, how do you best escape from them?_

Hide under the bridge and send a clone away from them.

Sighing, Orochimaru moved onto the next, similarly easy question. THis test was hardly at chuunin level...well, it probably was, but that didn't mean it was at the yellow-eyed prodigy's level.

"I've got the first answer. Lets go back and I'll work on the next two."

*

"Oh my GOD! SOmeone killed the Proctor!" Tsunade shouted as they entered the exam room. Jiraiya ran with her to where the proctor was lying proneand pale. He was as pale as Orochimaru usually was, but the snake sucker had gone even whiter.

"Someone must have tried to force information out of him about he test..."

"THat's cheating!" Tsunade yelled, checking for a pulse, contrary to her original proclaimation of death. "oh! He's breathing, just let me revive him." Jiraiya watched in admration as green chakra flared around Tsunade's hands, which she presed to two tiny puncture marks in the young Jonin's neck.

"Uuuunnnh." The proctor groaned, the kind of noise Jiraiya made when his mother told him to get up in the mornings.

"Proctor-san! Are you okay? Did you see who got you?" Tsunade asked, as Jiraiya helped the man sit up.

"A girl...brown hair..."

"You should go to the hospital. The other teams probably won't be finished for a while, I'll tell Hokage-sama what happened and ask for anothetr proctor." Said Orochimaru, crouching down beside Jiraiya, who was mildly stunned to see his teammate being nice.

"Jiraiya, Tsunade, would you two please take him to the hospital?" Orochimaru looked seriously over the proctors chest at Tsunade, who nodded and grinned.

"Just let that cheater _try _and take another crack at the proctor...YOu can tie them up with your_ hair_ Jiraiya. They'll die of disgust." Jiraiya laughed at Tsunade's joke or jab, he wasn't quite sure which, as he hoisted the proctor's arm over his shoulder.

"Okay, let's go. Mission: Protect the Proctor from Problems!"

"Jiriaya..."

"Okay. Fine, let's just go." Jiraiya sighed, and helped the proctor out of the exam hall, glancing back at Orochimaru, only to see the other gennin leaving through another door.

Jiraiya repressed a shudder, glancing at the tiny puncture wounds on the Proctor's neck. Orochimaru had been smirking.

*

Several hours later, the whispers began racing through the exam hall as the other gennin filed back in, to see a new proctor, talking urgently with the First and three children. Jiraiya looked at Tsunade, who was at least human enough to share that feeling of importance that children feel when included in the affairs of adults, and the superiority of knowing something secret.

"So, none of you saw who tried to attack the proctor." Said the first, patting Tsunade's head in a grandfatherly way.

"No, but he said it was a girl with brown hair..." Said Tsunade, returning Jiraiya's look. Jiraiya barely acknowledged it, and began examining Orochimaru's expression in worry, remembering the smirk.

"I think it was probably a transformation jutsu." He said, seeing Orochimaru blink once. Not much for most people to go with, but Jiriaya was Orochimaru's teammate for the last year, and had picked up on the minute facial movements that occasionally constituted the expressions other than evil smirk or angry mania or frustration and superiority. And he knew that Orochimaru didn't blink unless something happened that he wasn't expecting. Which meant that he blinked about once a month

"You're probably right, Jiraiya." The First nodded in approval, before turning to the new proctor.

"I need to get back to my office, we've got more requests than usual in the last few days, and the Chuunin exams are leaving us short-handed. Be careful, Kurotsuki, whoever they were, htey may try to interfere with the exams again."

Kurotsuki nodded formally to the hokage as the dark-haired man left, before turnig back to the rest of the students.

"Your proctor is currently indisposed. I will be taking your answers now, as well as the fragments that you have collected. You three first."

Tsunade handed over the shredded pieces of paper to the jonin, whil orochimaru gave him the answer sheet, complete with translated questions and a synopsis of the code. Jiriaya stood ther foolishly as the proctor nodded in appreciation and sent them back to there places, wher the team waited for the other students to hand in their tests as well. About half of them were sent back to their places, the rest being told to leave.

"Okay, Gennin of Konohagakure, Many of you probably do not know this, but the Five great Shinobi nations are posed on the brink of war again. This means that we need as many skilled Shinobi, and Kunoichi in our village as possible. You, as the next generation of ninja, will be under enormous pressure to perform, and Lord Hokage is counting on as many students as possible graduating at these exams. THat said, we cannot compromise the quality of our chuunin and jonin, as those that just left know. THerefore, it is your duty, as citizens of the Hidden leaf village, to outperform every generation before you to protect Konoha. Your survival test will be two days from now, I will meet all of you at The Forest of Death at dawn.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: With bells on.

"Okay, this test has been adapted from one of the training techniques passed down from Shodaime. There will be six jonin in the forest, with two bells each. To pass, each member of your team needs a bell." Said the Proctor, Kurotsuki, as the sleepy gennin assembled at the perimeter of the forest of death. "Then you can come out and we'll get onto the actual fighting. Make sure your out by sunset on the third day, because that's how long the jutsu on the demon will last, and if any of you try and fight it, you will die." The proctor turned and began to walk away, leaving a herd of scared genin, and a groaning Jiraiya. _not the bells, anything but those damn bells..._

"Scoot. Oh, yeah, and if you get hungry, you have to ambush a jonin to. They'll guard a few supply dumps throughout the forest. Or, you _could _eat the plants and animals, but I wouldn't."

As if on cue, Jiraiya's stomach growled, and the gennin made their hesitant way into the forest.

*

"I'm starving...." Whined Jiraiya, rubbing his stomach as he followed Tsunade and Orochimaru.

"Shut up Jiraiya...HEy, Orochimaru, what do you reckon they meant about the spell on a demon?"

"Probably just something to scare us with...Or it could be one of those tailed beasts your grandfather was meant to be able to control. Either way, we don't need to worry about it."

"Yes we do. How are we meant to take out a Jonin by ourselves? Let alone two..."

"We could team up with someone..." suggested Jiraiya, making his fringe grow and shrink to take his mind off his hunger.

"that's actually an okay idea, Something's wrong..."

"No its not. I'm the only person who can grow and shrink my hair, remember?"

"...Then why are you coming up with good ideas?"

"I can be smart too! snapped Jiriaya, indignantly. THat's not only Orochimaru's business. HE added to himself. "Anyway, Toko-chan is taking the exams this year, she's one of my friends."

"Yeah right, 'friend'..." muttered Tsunade, as Jiraiya began to lead them through the forest, stomach creating some quiet background music.

*

"Minna!" Jiraiya whispered urgently to a young girl with her pale brown hair up in buns. THe girl spun around, her two teammates a second behind, as half a dozen kunai thunked into the tree by Jiriaya's head. "Hey!" He growled indignantly, almost the same pitch as his stomach.

"Oh! Jiriaya! Sorry. What do you want?" Minna asked, raising an eyebrow over her flashing green eyes.

"We wanna team up, that way we only need to take out three jonin, and there'll be six people to do it, instead of three people taking two twice..."

"How do we know you won't just run off with our bells?" Asked the boy to Minna's left, a black-haired Uchiha by the looks of things.

"Cos we'll get one per team per jonin. Then you'll have as many bells as us. Konoha honour." Jiriaya said with a grin, holding up his pinky to Minna.

"He has a point, Sora, Ukito," Minna said, looking at the uchiha and her third, red-headed teammate in turn.

"I guess so..." Sora conceded, but Ukito, still looked suspicious.

"That's no guarantee."

"Hey! I'm right here! And I wouldn't breeak a promise, no way!"

"He wouldn't and he'll hold the other two to it as well, Ukito. I think we should do it." Minna said, hooking her pinky through Jiraiya's.

"That's right! The ghost of the hidden leaf village never breaks a promise!" Jiraiya proclaimed, grinning. Minna's grip suddenly became very tight, and the Ghost of the hidden leaf village nearly broke his pinky.

"That was you?"

"Uh...I would never peep on you, Minna, your not my type?"

The Ghost of the hidden leaf village broke his pinky.

"So what? Am I ugly??" she asked the injured gennin, her finger still wrapped around his oddly bent one.

"That's not it...it's just...." Jiriaya broke off as her teammates began to advance on him too.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!!" Yelled Tsunade, wrenching Jiraiya from Minna's grasp. "HE was offering to help you, and we're Ninja, we get the job done, efficient;y, quietly and co-operatively. We don't grumble about each other's personal habits. Anyway, no-ones allowed to bash up on Jiraiya but me, so mind your own business, snotty."

"What, he your boyfriend?" Minna asked, her cheeks reddening as she tried to surreptitiously wipe her nose.

Minna was promptly expelled from the forrest, and any snot hanging out of her nose was likweise expelled in a torrent of blood from the crushed remains.

"Let's-go-find-an-oth-er-team." Tsunade said, slowly, flatly, wet-your-pants-and-run-crying-to-mummy scary. She grabbed Jiraiya's hand, probably crushing the bones in his pinky to powder as she set it and repaired it with a flash of chakra.

*

Deep in the forest, there was a soft rhythmic growl, rising and falling to hte beat of impossibly slow breaths. A huge creature, aroange, and curled up around itself so that its shape was indeterminate, flicked a long, pointed ear, and one of it's golden eyes flickered open, for just a second.

*

I'm still apologising for lazy updates, so SORRY SORRY SORRY!! I have an idea for another fic, but I won't write it until one of my other stories is finished, so I'll say more about that later, so until then, Pleeease review!!

Press this button and type, I accept anonymous reviews.

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	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen: Team Twelve

A/N I AM SO SORRY!!! I only just realised that it's been about twenty days since I updated this one, I've gotten so Lazy, I used to update my stories nearly every day.....I apologise to everyone. And now I am writing....

In the end, it was Team twelve that the three Sanin-to-be decided to work with. It was the only team in Konoha with two girls in it - twins - and since Mizuko and Ameko were the best Genin in the village at Genjutsu - the weak point of Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade - it was only logical.

But Jiraiya was the one who said that, so there was an ulterior motive, and they were staring Tsunade right in the face at this very instant. Mizuko and Ameko had absolutely _gargantuan _breasts, even though they weren't even fourteen. They must have measured almost 90cm at the bust.

So, uh, which one's Ameko, and which one's Mizuko?" Tsunade asked, glaring at both of the girls, and Jiraiya who was positively leering at them. And they were giggling at him. The stupid cows were _encouraging _him. Tsunade ground her teeth and glared harder. These twins may be good at Genjutsu, but **_she _**could pound both their smug faces in before they made a single handsign. So there. It didn't matter if she was flat, she was _better _than them.

"Mizuko is the one with hair like a waterfall, while Ameko's eyes are as gentle as the falling rain." proclaimed Jiraiya, turning to the girl on the left and then the girl on the right. Tsunade felt an offended prickle. _She _never got compliments...what about _her eyes? _

"Let's just go and get those bells." Team Twelve's only male member, Shikashi Nara, said with a yawn. "I saw a food deposit over that way, and if we wait there, then some other Jonin are likely to show up, since they probably don't have their own food either."

Tsunade stared at the unpreposessing brown-haired boy in amazement. this guy was _smart._ A plan like that was something she'd expect Orochimaru to come up with...

"If we can take out the Jonin there, a transformation Jutsu, augmented by Ame and Mizu's Genjutsu would lead the Jonin to us completley unsuspecting, and we probably won't even have to fight them because I can just use my Shadow possession jutus on them." Said the kid, leading the way in the direction he had indicated, the other's following behind.

*

"Man, the Hokage was really mean this time, right Akahana?" Said Kotaro Inuzuka, patting his dog on the head as he squatted by the small covered supply of food, taking shelter from the midday sun in the shade of a large tree. She growled slighty in contented agreement.

"You're right, we do need more tough shinobi, but he's tied up half of our Jonin for the next three days, doesn't that seem a little reckless to you?" Akahana shrugged her thickly furred shoulders, stalking off to a near by tree and sniffing at it.

"What's-" Kotaro was cut off as his body was immobilised by soem unseen force. Akahana yapped at him in distress. _People behind the tree, they hid their scent by rolling in the dirt..._

"Damn," growled Kotaru, seeing a darker shadow stretching from past the tree and holding both him and Akahana still. It was a Nara. The forest twisted around him, bending out of shape as three Gennin appeared in frfont of him, seemingly stepping out of thin air.

"Thanks, Mizu-chan, Ame-chan." called the white haired kid over his shoulder with a grin.

"Hurry up and tie him up. I can't hold them both for long."

"oh, right. Wild Lion's Mane Jutsu!" THe white haired Gennin made a few handsigns, and suddenly Kotaru had to swallow back bile as the ragged white mane _grew _wrapping it'self around him as if it were alive.

"I've got the dog," said the blonde girl, wrappig her arms around Akahana whop didn't move. "Isn't she cute?" Akahana growled.

"Stop fooling around, Tsunade, and put that mongrel to sleep." Snapped the third gennin, completing a transformation jutsu to turn himself into an exact likeness of Kotaru. Kotaru watched in horror as Akahana went limp in Tsunade's hands, her angry protests at being hugged like some sort of pet abruptly cut off.

"What did you do to her?" He asked, wondering what sort of kids these were, taking the test so seriously that they were willing to kill an Inozuka dog...

"I used a sedation Jutsu on her." Said the girl grinning as she picked the dog up and deposited her by Kotaru. "NOw we just need to hide the two of you..."

"We can dig a hole and bury them!!" suggested Jiraiya excitedly. He'd hacked off the hair that was tying up Kotaru and was rooting through the supplies. "Ooh, look, they have Ramen!"

"Stop being an idiot, Jiraiya. Shikashi, what do you think we should do?"

"I think burying them, with adequate air, would be a great way to start. We just need to remember to dig them up when we're done." Said the Nara kid, releasing his Shadow Possession Jutsu as he joined the group, two girls following him.

"Ha! See?" Jiraiya said, poking his tongue out at Tsunade. "Leave it to me. Earth style - Endless Crevasse jutsu." Jiraiya put his hands to the ground, and a small trench, about five feet deep, and three feet wide appeared. Tsunade snorted.

"Sarutobi-sensei's trench was much bigger." She said, although there was the faintest touch of admiration in her voice. "Where did you learn it?"

"...I made it up. All I knew was that he used the Tiger and horse handsigns, so I guessed what the rest of them were..." Jiriaya said, bracing himself to get whacked.

"Ooh, really, Jiraiya? that's so cool." Said the twins, clapping their hands and bouncing up and down on the balls of their feet. Tsunade growled at them, as Ameko shot a smirk at her.

"Fine then. you dug the hole, you bury them." she said, crouching down on the ground and transforming into a double of Akahana. "Everyone else should go and hide again." As if it were an afterthought, she put what was now a paw on Kotaru's forehead, and he felt his eyes flutter closed, as he was rolled into the trench. He was going to be in deep trouble for letting a couple of Gennin get the better of him that easily....

*

Hah, finally, an update... I'm sorry everyone....


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen: IS it sixteen?? Wow. one for each year.

MAdoka Uchiha walked through the forest, her sharingan keeping a sharp eye out for any gennin, the bells chiming softly at her waist. She felt a faint stirring of hunger as she neared the clearing that Kotaru was guarding. It had been a long way from her entry into the forest of death, and she'd had to fight off some nasty bugs, and gotten some of their goop on her black clothes with the Uchiha crest liberally splashed around.

She paused to examine the stain before she entered the clearing, and, with a quick splash of water from her flask, washed the worst of it off.

"Hey kota-" MAdoka ducked backwards as several shuriken flew at her face, glancing around, she saw that there were six gennin hiding in ambush and-

A pressure began to build in her ears as she sensed a genjutsu being cast - the two ninja in the tree.

"GOTCHA!!" Yelled a voice, as small arms wrapped around her waist. Her Sharingan had been to occupied combating the genjutsu to see the chakra signature of the small, apparently invisible child as he snuck round behind her, and now she was wrapped in threads infused wioth chakra - a puppetmaster?

"I love my new jutsu! My hair is so cool!!" Madoka gagged. it was _hair..._

Shadow Possession Jutsu!"

Madoka felt her body become immobilised as she the gennin revealed themselves. The two that hadn't fought had the look of the Taijutsu specialist, and her ninjutsu backup - they'd been disguised as Kotaru and Akahana. Probably in case of their plan going wrong. Which had been insanely likely...although, she was only a new Jonin, seventeen years old, and had only two Tomoe in her Sharingan....fat lot of help that was....

"This one is hot...You're Madoka, right?" Said the boy behing her, his arms still around her waist, despite her being secured by hair and shadow.

"Let go of me you little sleazebag, when I get my hands on you...Where's Kotaru!?!" SHe twisted her head to glare imperiously at the white haired boy, her raven hair swishing over her shoulder like silk in a bad mood.

The Taijutsu girl punched him, breaking his nose wiht an audible crack.

"OWWWW!!!!!!!!!! FUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Howled the kid, letting go of her, anmd falling backwards.

"Oh my god, Jiraiya, are you okay??" Asked the two genjutsu users in unison, swinging from the tree.

"Ged de bells...." He muttered, pinching his nose and wincing in pain.

"serves you right." Snapped the blond girl, glaring at the twins. with another bone-crunching crack, she set Jiraiya's nose, and with soome green chakra, stopped the bleeding and swelling.

The black haired Ninjutsu kid had already plucked the bells form MAdoka's waist, handing one to the twin girls, and pocketing the other. "Are we going to bury her too?" He asked, pulling a shuriken from it's sheath on his thigh.

"Sure. I'll sedate her, Jiraiya, you dig that trench of yours up again."

Madoka struggled to keep tears out of her eyes as she thought of the insult this was to Uchiha honor, and her own, as she was hauled into the trench, next to Kotaru and his dog. The senior Jonin was beginning to come around as she curled up beside him, still held captive by the huge mass of hair, like Kotaru was.

"Madoka-chan?"

"Mhm?"

"They got you too? Are you okay?" Kotaru's voice was soft in the darkness of the earth, as he propped himself upagainst a side of the trench. Madoka didn't answer - she was intimately aware of the weight of the earth around her, as she wriggled as close to Kotaru as she could, her Sharingan eyes useless in the pitch dark, except to detect the auras of Akahana and Kotaru. She couldn't see anything, and she couldn't move, and that terrified her.

*

"How long do you reckon till another one shows up?" Asked Jiraiya, helping himself to some more food. He was starting to like this version of the bell test."

"I don't know. We were lucky that time, though. She was a weak Jonin." Orochimaru said, already back in the shape ofthe Inozuka.

"Hey, She was an Uchiha - she had a Sharingan."

"That made us even luckier that she was weak - if she'd seen us before you had attacked, we would have lost the element of surprise. Also, Jiraiya wouldn't have been able to catch her under the cover of your genjutsu. And then she would have turned our skills back on us with her own genjutsu, and we would have been disqualified." Shikashi said, taking some food for himself as well. "Odds are though, that we won't see another Uchiha in this test."

"Oh...I guess we were lucky then..."

"Definitely. We're nearly done, we have heaps of food, and we still have nearly six days left to finish in!" Jiraiya said, grinning at the setting sun.

"I bet we get out first." Tsunade grinned, high-fiving Jiraya.

"Actually, after we get the next pair of bells, I wanna see if we can find that demon we heard about."

Orochimaru stiffened at that. "Are you crazy??" he hissed, clenching his fists. "we should just get the bells and get out. Anything else is stupid and a waste of time."

"You're just scared. Don't you think you're good enough?" Jiraiya taunted, intentionally pressing Orochimaru's ego's soft-spot.

"...fine. We'll go find your stupid demon. If I let you go by yourself, you'd just get yourself killed, idiot."

"Cool! Although, if I didn't need you to stay close for the chuunin exams, there is no way I'd let you come. You're coming too, Tsunade?" Jiraiya was looking rather smug by this point in time.

"Uh...of course. my grandfather is the one sealing it, so if you tread on it's tail and wake it up, I"ll have the best chance of beating it." Tsunade said, also grinning.

"Can we-" Mizuko and Ameko began in unison, but Shikashi cut them off.

"We'll just leave the three of you to it then. we're getting out of this awful forest as soon as we can, and back to hot water and beds."

"I want a shower so much right now...." Mizuko said, sighing luxuriantly.

"I'd prefer a hot meal, first." Ameko disagreed, but both had silently agreed to get out of this awful forest as soon as they could.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter sixteen: Lets go poke the demon

Fun fact - this is now my most reviewed story. It was my longest story for a while now, but still, that's pretty cool. thanks to everyone, and I am not going to update again after this one for a while, cos I'm going overseas for three weeks.

The third Jonin went down without much of a fight, an hour later.

"Well, this has been depressingly easy...." Said Jiraiya, jingling his bell. "And I guess I'll see you girls after the test then..." He said with a grin at Mizuko and Ameko. Tsunade kicked him.

"We need to get the other two out of the trench..." She said, gritting her teeth. Jiraya nodded, and limped over to the stick he'd used to mark the trench, not wanting to admit how much Tsunade's kick had hurt. Why the hell was she so grumpy anyway?? What had he done?

Jiraiya slapped his hand against the trench, pushing the dirt to the sides with his chakra.

"You two can come out no- Whoa! Dog-man's gonna get some!"

Jiraiya wolf-whistled as he saw a somewaht grubby Madoka Uchiha curled up against Kotaru Inoxuka. Akahana growled as the protective barrier of the earth was lifted away from between her and Jiraya. THis growl was immediately followed by a toothy projectile launching at Jiraiya's tenders.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

*

As the two Jonin and the large dog fled the wrath of a Jiraiya whose been bit in the balls, SHikashi and the twins said goodbye, much to Tsunade's delight.

"See ya later then, have fun, bye now!" She laughed, waving manically.

THe three left with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and half an hour later, Jiraiya limped into the campsite, trailing large, dead, critters of various sorts, wrapped up in his hair and bristling with kunai, and an aura promising death to anyone who said anything to him. He looked, frnakly, despite the unusual hair accessories, evil, and deadly, and scary, and...cool....?

"Hey, Jiriaya...Do you want me to see if I can fix it...?" Tsunade asked, blushing furiosly. _duty as a healer. HE needs to be able to walk and run if we're going demon hunting. It's completely professional, nothing to get embarrassed over..._Of course, telling a twelve year old mind that is no use whatsoever, and Jiraiya, for all his childish pervery, was still just a child, and nearly as embarassed.

"Um...okay...." He said, sitting down, and folding his hands in his lap.

"You'll uh...need to...take youyr pants off...dogs often have dirty mouths, and it might be infected..." Tsunade said, her face making faint sizzling sounds.

Jiraiya on the other hand, went very pale, and undid his pants buttons with trembling hands.

Orochimaru chose this moment to leave.

Tsunade watched him leave, her ears getting hotter, as she glanced back at Jiraiya, and clenched her eyes tightly shut as she got a glimpse of...

"Okay, well, just hold still and I'll fix it then....!" She squeaked, swallowing. Jiraiya squeaked back, and then squeaked again, as Tsunade began focussing her Chakra, sending tingling sensations along whatever it touched.

"Anyway, um..." Tsunade had her eyes tightly closed as she concentrated as much chakra as she could to determine the damage to - and fix - Jiraiya's private parts from a foot away. "THat should do it..." Jiraiya scrambled back and frantically put his pants back on, blushing furiously. His hands began to form hte signs for the transparency jutsu, wanting nothing more than to disappear, but Orochimaru chose that point to come back, and his fingers froze. Snake-boy was never getting this jutsu.

"Um...thanks Tsunade... I'll go scout the way...We need to go in towards the centre of the forest, there's a huge tower, radiating chakra...." Jiraiya muttered, before scampering off.

"Come on, TSunade, let's follow that idiot, before he gets into trouble." SAid Orochimaru, courteously, oozing the sense that she'd _never _have to fix _his _privates because a dog bit them. Tsunade nodded, feeling her ears get warmer, as Orochimaru took her hand and lead her after Jiraiya.

*

A red eye flickered open again, as a strange smell siltered though the musty air. _Blood, and Anger, young, fresh...._ A feral grin streched over the wickedly pointed teeth, gleamin in the darkness. _And this foolish kit was coming back...?_

A faint chuckle echoed through the tall tower, bouncing of the rune-covered walls that formed an impenetrable prison.

_It has been a long time since I've eaten, I will enjoy this... _THe chuckle got louder, as Kyuubi licked his lips, his other eye slicking open in anticipation of the meal....

*

Jiraiya seemed to have recovered from his embarrasment, although he still wnt somewhat red whenever he looked at Tsunade. He'd fallen back from scouting, and was now walking with the other two, singing loudly for the sole purpose opf annoying Orochimaru.

"We're gonna catch a demon! We're gonna catch a demon!!" He laughed and doged as Orochimaru threw a kunai at him. THe pale boy was getting nervous, Jiraiya noticed. Brilliant. Snake boy would lose all credibility, and come running to him for protection before all this was over; and Jiraiya would totally, and eternally, upstage him...Who said Orochimaru was the smart one with all the sneaky plans.

*

Sorry this chapter is kinda short. I'm not sure if it's really that good on the whole, but please review anyway. (Puppy dog eyes.......)


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Seventeen: A bad idea.

Orochimaru smriked at Jiraya's back, ignoring the singing. _He _had Tsunade's hand, and the idiot was in disgrace. It had almost driven Orochimaru to laughter for the first time in his memory or anyone else's. his smirk vanished as Jiraiya turned back, his singing amplified as the considerable barrier of his hair was removed from between the two boys. and it wasn't just another sickening punch of chakra, punching him in the gut with a sense of ancient bloodthirsty power, he was used to that - he could summon Manda, King of the serpents, and you hardly got more bloodthirsty than that...

He'd promised two sacrifices next time the huge purple snake was summoned though - irritating, but easily enough solved - MAnda always preferred the traditional pretty virgins, anyway.

It was always wise to take precautions when going demon hunting, especially if this demon was what it seemed to be...

Orochimaru broke off his musing on the snake as another wave of chakra broke through the forest, and Jiraya turned away again. Tsunade gripped his hand tighter. She was less sensitive to the massive amounts of energy, but it affected her more - not many genin hung around vengeful snake-gods and therefore, most weren't used to the strength of inhuman chakras. Jiraiya of course, was oblivious. Not surprising, but faintly worrying. Even Jiraiya should be feeling uneasy. He couldn't have enough chakra to simply brush it off like that...even if he had been improving...it was an act....right?

"We're gonna poke a demon, we're gonna poke a demon!" Jiraya said, grinning as he bounded back to Tsunade and grabbed her hand, positively jubilant. It wasn't an act...

"Cheer up grumpy pants! You were excited just a minute ago, what's wrong?"

"...can't you feel it?" She asked, after staring open mouthed aat Jiraiya for a second, her hand wrapping around his instinctively as thet chakra pulsed through the foprest again, making her shiver.

"Feel what?" Jiraya asked around. Orochimaru frowned, watching Jiraya from the corner of his eye. He _knew _Jiraya didn't have enough chakra to brush off a chakra signature like that, but as he peered closer, something seemed to be augmenting it....Orochimaru blinked several times, his eyebrows twitching slightly into a frown as he realised that Jiraya wasn't brushing off the energy, he was unconciously absorbing it, and it was not only temporarily increasing his chakra, but eroding the limits before the eight gates, gradually increasing the amount of chakra he would have away from the forest...how? How was an idiot like Jiraiya turning this...._evil_ energy to his own use, unconciously, when it's very presence made Orochimaru slightly nauseous....

The pale boy realised that Tsunade had been explaining the presence she felt to Jiraiya while Orochimaru had been thinking.

"But that's where the demon is....you're sensing it already?"

"Yes, are you sure you don't feel it?"

"Yep, I feel great! Like I could run ten miles on my hands without stopping along the way...unless I saw a hotspring...." Jiraiya said grinning, as he jumped onto the bottom of a tree branch running parallel to the one they're been moving along for the last few minutes, not letting go of TSunade's hand, even as she slapped him with her other one, the one Orochimaru had been holding...

"You're a perve." She said, smiling slightly, as jiraiya squeezed her hand, walking along upside down with his head at roughly the level of her chest.

"Since Jiraya doesn't seem to want to scout anaymore, I'll go on ahead." Orochimaru said icily, leaving the two genin behind as he moved swiftly down the huge branch.

_fool..._he cursed silently, but he wasn't sure who.

(Well he's not really evil yet, just a bit twisted....and he's only twelve, so don't get angry at me, or do...if it'll make you review, dear reader)

*

Jiraiya walked along upside down, ignoring the blood rushing to his head as he stole surreptitious glances at Tsunade's boobs, which were definitely there... She wasn't 'boobless' anymore...and he'd swear they'd grown even since last time he saw her at the hot springs, less than a week ago...interesting...the temporary guest stars of his yellow notepaper would be taking a vacation soon, it seemed, probably permanently.

Especially since she was still holding his hand.

Jiraiya thunked onto Tsunade's branch as his own ran out, banging his head, and managing to carve a long gash out of his arm on a broken branch.

OW!!

Jiraya bit his lip, willing himself to stay silent, as Tsunade instantly began to examin his arm, through the large hole in his shirt, muttering curses that Jiraiya didn't even know.

"TAke your shirt off." She demanded after an instant, her tone brooking less argument than a glacier. Jriaya instantly obeyed, swallowing as Tsunade swore some more.

"THere's a...splinter. I need to pull it out. bite this." She said, handing him a smooth flat piece of wood. She still sounded glaciel, so Jiraiya chomped the piece of wood as hard as he could, feeling his body tingle slightly as the mild painkiller numbed it...or it could have been the professional brush of Tsunade's surprisingly soft hands across his chest and back, purposefully avoiding his shoulder.

"...okay, on three...one...two..."

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMF!!!!!!" Jiraya would have screamed if his mouth hadn't been full of drugged wood, but Tsunade's hands were already closing up the wound with the light sure touch of her chakra.

"...you okay...? Okay, let's go." She said, not letting Jiraya spit out his wooded gag and answer. Before the blonde Kunoichi grabbed his other hand and jogged through the forest after orochimaru.

"What's wrong?"

"It knows we're here...we should get back with Orochimaru." Tsunade said, her amber eyes worried.

*

Kyuubi absently flicked one of its tails, as he watched the grey-haired boy...that child would have made an excellent bijuu...a natural affinity for chakra other than his own, stamina, strength, stupidity...

MAybe he would try and posess this boy, it would be nice to walk free again, even if it was confined within a host...

*

SHANNARO! Two chapters in one night! and I'm getting close to twenty....


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Eighteen: Wherein Plot happens.

Lets hope this is a long chap to make up for my laxity - school is hateful.

Tsunade found herself shifting slightly closer to Jiraiya as he approached the door to the huge tower. As she pressed against the Gennin's back, she felt the beat of his heart - faster, and much stronger than usual, pumping blood and energy through his body. She absently brushed a hand along his shoulder, noticing that the muscles were more pronounced than usual.

"Would you like me to take my shirt off, so you can get a better look?" Jiraiya asked, turning around and grinning at her, his black eyes sparkling. Orochimaru hissed from by the door.

"Yes." Tsunade said absently. Something strange was happening to him, andd she wanted the chance to find out what it was...

Jiriaya luaghed and winked at her. "Guess it's only fair..." He was just about to loosen his shirt, when Tsunade grabbed his face, feeling a sick fear twist through her as a wave of chakra pulsed from the tower, almost knocking her off her feet. But that wasn't all she was afraid of - she'd seen the same energy flashing through Jiraiya's black eyes, staining them orange....

"Your eyes..." She gasped, realising that Jiriaya had wrapped his arms around her waist. His eyes were black again, but...odd...almost glazed...

"Yes, what about my eyes, sensei?" There was a roughness to Jiraiya's voice, an almost...purring quality, but far more dangerous, and the sound of it turned Tsunade's knees to water.

"J-J-Jir-"

He smiled, his face very close to hers.

"Is something wrong? Do you want to go lie down somewhere for a while?" The roughness in his voice suggested something less than innocent, and the conundrum of what knocked Tsunade's brain back into functioning. _Lie down, go lie down with Jiriaya? Maybe have a nap? Go to sleep? Sleep, with-_ When she realised what Jiriaya had been implying, her face flamed red.

"YOU PIG!!" there was a crack as Jiriaya was knocked back from the force of Tsunade's hand connecting with his face.

"OW!! What the hell was that for?!!" Jiriaya demanded, leaping to his feet, one hand covering the red imprint streched across his cheek.

"You-You-You PERVE!!" Tsunade was about to slap him again when the door to the tower swung open in a decidedly ominous way.

Jiriaya blinked and turned, and Tsunade realised that whatever had been affecting him the moment before had faded, apparently leaving no memory.

"Where's snake-boy?" Asked Jiraiya suddenly, looking around. Orochimaru was nowhere to be seen.

"he...he probably went inside," Tsunade said, full of trepidation.

"WHAT?! No WAY I'm letting him go poke the demon first. It's MY demon!" the words chilled Tsunade, but she followed Jiraiya as he ran into the tower, preferring not to be left alone this close to something evil.

*

Orochimaru sprinted up the winding stars of the tower, feeling his eyes sting and his breath sob from the exertion. HE was running straight towards the source of the energy, feeling the nauseous waves break over him with a predatory pleasure. He didn't care. About the demon waiting for him, about Tsunade, about anything. HE didn't want to. HE wanted to be like Manda. He wanted to be hard, cold, had tried to be, since his parents had-

Orochimaru stumbled on a step, feeling his hands graze against the one above. The sharp pain and the metallic scent of blood cleared the fog in his mind, and intensified the energy washing around him.

Orochimaru stared ta the blood on his hands. He could use it to sumon MAnda, it would be easy enough to get teh twins to feed him, and the king of snakes would forgive a brief wait in exchange for a pair of pretty, identical girls, all the qualifications for a human sacrifice too..but he might not. Orochimaru put no claims to controlling the snake, and if he was hungry enough, he might just eaty whatever was closest...An image of Tsunade flashed through his miond, and he clenched his hands. HE wouldn't summon MAnda untill he could feed him.

"OY!! Snakeboy!!"

Orochimaru staggered to his feet as his teammates approached, feeling the blood trickle down his hands.

"LEt's go."

*

The door was huge and old, wood blackened from age, fire and old blood, but, covering the crack between the two sides, and still as stark as the day it was painted was a white scroll, plastered across the door and covered in rust-coloured binding symbols.

Jiriaya was about to go over and push it open, when a small shape of transparent, roiling orange light formed in front of it.

_children, I do love children..._ The apparition stalked over to Jiraiya, circling him, tails swaying slightly. _Especially you....tell me, kit, do you want power? can you feel my strength? Do you want it? just tear the seal off the door...._

Jiraiya's eyes glazed, flooding with orange light, as the sense of energy coming from the tower intensified. the fox seemed to shimmer, growing at once more solid and fainter, as Jiraiya began to move towards the door.

"Jiraiya!!" Tsunade's head snapped around as he heard the whipcrack of ORochimaru's voice, and saw the blood trickling down his hands. The fox apparition turned as well, scenting the blood and licking the sharp white fangs that were forming in its grin.

_Anger, hatred, pain, you have exquisite blood, kit, shame you're to smart to be a host...._the things tongue darted out and licked across Orochimaru's bloody plams, burning flesh and making the plae boy clench his jaw in pain.

Jiraya had arrested his progress towards the door, the muscles in his jaw working as he tried to lean back.

"Jiriaya!! Don't let it out!! Don't break that seal!!" Screamed Tsunade, flinging herself around Jiraiya's knees, and knocking him off his feet.

_Resistance?! _the fox snapped, lashing it's tails across Orochimaru's face as it snarled. They left two livid burn marks across his cheek and thoat, and caused a grunt of pain to escape his plae lips as he fell to his knees. _Break the seal! NOW!!_

"No! Don't!"

Jiraiya's eyes were flickering, as he stared at Tsunade, the orange chakra of the fox seeming to flow from the two-tailed apparition nearby to Jiraiya, haloing him in bloody light.

"Tsu-_kit - _nade, run - _but you want her to stay, stay, kit, - _run Tsunade." The fox had nearly entirely disappeared, and the nails that gripped Tsunade's arms were lengthening into claws.

"Ow!! Jiriaya!!" Tsunade gasped as chakra rubbed against her skin like acid and sandpaper. The red under his eyes were streching out into whiskers across his cheeks, but at the sound of his name, the eyes reverted to blakc, and his hands convulsively unclenched.

"Ru-" Jiraiya broke off, as a thick purple snake sunk it's fangs into his neck, causing his eyes to roll back in his head as he collapsed.

Orochimaru, one hand pressed ahgainst the weeping burn in his throat, swept his hand through the demon, which got much more solid as the chakra faded from around Jiraiya.

"Don't touch this thing, Tsunade, I'll hold it off...." The snake against Jiraiya's neck slithered immediately back to it's master, letting Tsunade see with enormous relief the faint rise and fall of Jiraiya's chest. calling on her chakra, she began to flush the poison out of her teammate as fast as she could.

_I take it back, you are foolish enough to be a bijuu._

Orochimaru didn't say anytrhing, instead just sending a rain of needles flashing towards the fox. This a bark of annoyance, the creature flicked it's tail, and every needle vanished with the sound of sighing air.

under the green glow of Tsunade's hands, Jriaiya groaned, and threw up.

Orochimaru scraemed as the manifestation of Kyuubi clawed at his face, sending him reeling to the floor. Jiraiya bolted upright and swore.

"Stay away Tsunade, fix Orochimaru, and get out of here. It did something to my mind. Get out of here, and go warn the Hokage, if it can get inside my head again-" Jiraiya broke off, and launched himself at the creature, his hair whipping around it like Orochimaru's snakes, or the fox's tails.

Tsunade darted behind the fight, cuyrsing the fact that she wasn't allowed to fight, she had never felt so helpless before, as when she reached Orochimaru, and saw the terrible wounds across his body. She reached out and poured all the chakra she could into sealing the burns, knitting flesh and replenishing blood. But it wasn't enough, not saw Jiraiya glance past the demon he was fighting as the glow subsided, and knew he understood. nimbly, with more skill than Tsunade would have ever believed, he flipped over the Kyuubi, and landed in fornt of her, shielding her and Orochimaru with his body as he bit his thumb and smeared her palm with his blood before jumping away, drawing the kyuubi off.

Tsunade was shocked by the jolt of chakra that coursed through her, almost all that Jiraiya had, except the grey-haired boy hadn't slowed at all.

The fox hissed though.

_Fool. Idiopt kit, you think to use my own power against me?!"_

"Nope." Jiriaya grinned and held up his right hand, smeared with blood as well.

**  
well, that's the chapter, all in one night, but now it's 1 am, and I'm tired, and I hope you enjoyed the long chap, please review, goodnight. ~Ratpigeon.

P.S. who can guess what I'm about to do?


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter19: Tricksy Jiriaya.

"Summoning Jutsu. One of those freaky snakes that listens to Orochimaru, GET YOUR BUTT HERE NOW!!" Jiraiya pressed his palm to the ground, and a large dark green snake appeared, hissing. "Go, bite the nasty foxy." Jiraiya said, pointing at the kyuubi. Aside form his still obnoxiously cheerful voice, the room was silent, and even Kyuubi had shut up in surprise.

Jiraiya had done something _smart...._

Tsunade turned back to Orochimaru, forcing chakra to knit his flesh together, as Jiraiya attacked with the snake, the sheer volume of chakra flowing through him coating his body as he drew on all the reserves he had, coating his fists with chakra to protect them, as well as trying to wrap his hair around the snarling fox, who's attention was now split between the two foes. A tail whipped across Jiraiya's arm, as the snake was gouged with a claw, hissing in pain.

"Go!! Get Orochimaru out of here! Jiraiya yelled, ducking away from a lashing claw and tying a lock of hair around it. The chakra-infused strands held for a moment before bursting into flame, and Jiraiya punched the fox in the face in the instant he bought. The fox ignored the punch, and dodged towards Tsunade, who flung a handful of kunai at it, the blaades passing harmlessly through its body, and ten sticking in the core of the bubbling orange energy, held by strands of chakra.

"The Seal! We need to seal it!" Tsunade yelled, jerking the kunai in the fox, forcing it towards the snake, who lashed at it with a powerful sweep of its tail, knocking it away, but its scales sizzling form the corrosive chakra. Jiraiya used another band of his hair to pul;l the fox away from the others, punching it again as it got closer.

THe fox seemed unfazedby this barrage, except that it was forced back towards the seal. Using the snake as a distraction, Jiraya darted around behind the fox, lashing it with his hair wherever possible and smeared his hands across the seal, retracing the patterns with fresh blood, and forcing more chakra into it.

kyuubi froze, snarling as it turned towards Jiraiya, ignoring the snake and the other two gennin. As the grey haired gennin traced the last lines onto the paper, the fox leapt, fangs bared. Jiraiya felt the hot sting of it's chakra on his neck, but the seal was fininshed, and the fox faded, its fangs becoming insubstantial as they close on Jiraiya's throat. The foxes aura magnifies several times over, and the seal singes at the edges, as the Kyuubi howls in rage, but then it fades, far dimmer now than when they first entered the tower.

Jiraiya turns to his teammates, grinning, before his knees buckle and he collapses to the floor.

*

Jiraiya came to in a pale room, to the sight of Tsunade, Orochimaru, and a huge green snake leaning over him. When the snake speaks first, he almost goes back to sleep, certain it is a dream.

"I dont appreciate being summoned. release me now." It hisses, its long tongue flicking against his face.

"Wh-"

"How did you manage to summon Nakiraiya? You don't have a contract with the snakes..." Orochimaru demanded, breaking in over Jiraiya.

"i-"

"Thank god your okay!" Tsunade interrupted, throwing her arms around him. Jiraiya blinked, feeling light-headded.

"One at a time - how do I get rid of the snake?"

"Tell it to leave, only the person who summoned it can dismiss it, unless they can use an equally powerful reverse summoning jutsu. So how _did _you summon one of _my _snakes?"

"Oh, bye snake. You can go" Jiraiya waved at Nakiraiya as it vanished with a disgruntled hiss before adressing Orochimaru. "I used some of your blood, and some chakra and focussed on a big snake appearing. I figured that I'd need your blood, since you always use blood to summon them. And I'm fairly sure I'd know if I could summon something like that every time I grazed my knee." Jiraiya grinned at the astonished look on Orochimaru's face, and turned to look at Tsunade, who was sprawled over him, her face buried in his shoulder, shaking slightly. "What happened?"

"You managed to rewrite the seal, but collapsed right after, completely out of chakra. About half an hour later, a couple of Jonin showed up, along with my grandfather. They took us back here, and Granddad redid the seal so that there was no way it could get in or out. They fixed Orochimaru, but you've been out for three days..." she said, looking at him shakily, a small smile breaking across her face. "Yu're snake spend the entire time driving the doctors up the wall with its complaints."

"What about the chuunin exams? Did we pass? Did we miss the combat trials? Do we have to wait till next year?"

"We passed, we had the bells, and they culd tel there had been a fight, and they said that if we could survive against the Kyuubi, then we are definitely chuunin level."

"Alright!!" Jiraiya punched the air, sitting up, but a wave of dizziness rolled over him, and he flopped back onto the pillows. "Tsunade, I need food, I've never been so hungry in my life...."

*

The first Hokage, master of Mokuton, steepled his fingers and studied his advisors grimly.

"I'm afraid there is no choice. The other clans are banding into larger and larger villages, and we must strike now to defend the land of fire," said one. He was ayoung Jonin, accepted onto council for his tactical genius, and had spent the last months urging them to attack before they could be attacked.

"Last week one of our patrols was attacked on the border of the land of Rain, we lost two Jonin." Added another Jonin, a black-eyed Uchiha.

"And with a new group of Chuunin, our strength has increased significantly." Added Sarutobi, shrugging. "If we must attack, it should be soon."

The Hokage turned to the white-haired man next to him. "what do you think, Brother?"

Shodaime Hokage's second in command simply nodded, resignedly.

"Vey well. We shall prepare for war, then, Danzo." The Shodaime said to the youngest member of the council, standing up to leave. "Hold a jonin examination within the week, Ara. We need to know our forces as soon as possible." The only woman on the council, a silver-haired beauty in her mid thirties, Ara Kyaku, was Jiraiya's mother, but in complete contrast to her son, she was calm, capable, and specialised in Genjutsu.

"Yes Lord Hokage." The council bowed as the Hokage and his brother left.

Konoha was going to war.

*

I'm making up family for Jiraiya, but does anyone remembe the first and second Hokage's names?? thety were brothers, weren't theY?

now please review for me?? THIS IS MY 20th INSTALLMENT!!!!!! (very excited)


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20: The War begins.

Jiraiya was waiting with his teammates for Sarutobi-sensei to show up. He looked awesomely spiffy in his new green Chuunin jacket. He'd traded it for his overcoat, and looked awesomely mature and cool and tough now. Chuunin within a year of graduation!! Who was the dunce now!

"Sarutobi's late." Commented Orochimaru, who had also donned the green Chuunin vest. Tsunade had refused to wear it, saying it was too heavy, and clunky.

Jiraiya looked up as he heard a sound, and saw a squadron of ANBU black ops darting through the trees, away from Konoha.

"Did you see that?" He asked, His teammates nodded.

"I wonder what's going on, there have been a heap of Jonin coming back, and then leving again too. As well as some of the Chuunin." Tsunade said, looking in the direction the ANBU had vanished to.

"Yeah, and there's another Jonin exam tomorrow, too." Jiraiya said. His father had been complaining all week about Ara being so busy with the preparations.

"What do you think Orochimaru?"

The pale boy looked up, his arrogant demeanour fading.

"War. They're going to fight again." He said, wrapping his aroms around himself. "The Proctor said as much, before the survival test, remember?"

The Chuunin fell silent, none of them had been born by the end of the second great ninja war, when Madara Uchiha and the Hokage, Hashirama Senju had forged Konoha from the rival clans of the land of fire, but all of them knew that the cost had been extreme, Orochimaru most of all, having lost his father to it, and, indirectly, his mother, who had recieved serious wounds that had resulted in her death during the premature birth of her son.

"Why so grim, you three? You're Chuunin now, why not celebrate?" Sarutobi asked, coming into the clearing with a forced grin. All three instantly noticed that there were extra kunai and shuriken in his pouches and leg sheaths, as well as a variety of other ninja paraphernalia that he usually didn't carry with him.

"Sensei, are- are you going to fight too?" Tsunade asked, her voice hitching. the jonin nodded gravely.

"Yes, since the three of you are chuunin, you don't need a Jonin sensei anymore, and I'll be better able to protect you by eliminating threats before they get to our border and become your problem."

"Sarutobi, there you are." A tall woman with raven dark hair and pale purple eyes entered the glade, along with a stockier redhead man, with two thin swords complimenting the standard ninja gear.

"Children, these are my teammates from when I was a gennin and chuunin. Himeko Hyuuga and Jisuke Cotaro." Sarutobi indicated the two Jonin with a grin.

"We need to go, Monkey-man." Jisuke said, acknoledging the three with a nod.

"So these are the little demon-slayers...you're lucky to be alive." Himeko commented, running a hand through her long hair.

"Saru (means monkey in japanese) taught them. They've probably got hundreds of jutsu up their sleeve already."

Sarutobi shuffled his feet.

"Actually, only Orochimaru-kun has the talent for ninjutsu. Tsunade is a taijutsu-type and Jiriaya....is the determined type..."

"Hey!! I was the one who beat that dumb fox!! And I managed to summon one of Snake-boys dumb reptiles."

"Without a contract?" Asked Jisuke in surprise.

"Yep. He was bleeding all over the floor, so I used Snake-boy's blood." Jiraiya said proudly, poking his tongue out at his sensei.

"Tch. The knuckle-heads all die young in wars." Himeko said, scowling. "The Idealists too. Let's go, we're meant to be at the border by tomorrow afternoon."

Sarutobi nodded, and turned back towards his students. "Take care of each other, and please don't let yourself get killed..."

"Sarutobi-sensei!" Tsunade wrapped her arms around her teacher, Jiraiya closely following suit. Even Orochimaru looked stricken at the idea of losing his teacher.

After a minute, Sarutobi disentangled himself.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll see you three son." With that, their teacher pasted a grin on his face and ran off with his teammates.

*

Shikashi, Ameko and Mizuko were training with some other new chuunin, as well as several gennin, when Jiriaya and his team showed up. The twins immediately stopped and went over to congratulate him on becoming a chuunin, and ask if the wild stories were really true.

"Hey Tsunade, Orochimaru." Shikashi smiled slightly at tsunade, who was glaring at the twins and Jiriaya, before turning to Orochimaru. "Does your team want to train with us? There are six other chuunin, but we're all on probation until they get Ara-sensei and a couple of other Jonin to test our fighting skills, next week, so we want to be as prepared as possible, right, you two?" the last words were directed at his teammates.

"Coming Shikashi-kun." Both groaned in unison and turned back."

"Fine, we'll train with you." Tsunade said, with an evil grin at the twins. Shikashi wondered if she liked Jiraiya, or was simply possessive, as she began stretching.

THe training session that followed proved that, like or possesiveness, Tsunade was just as willing to pound in Jiraiya's face as anyone elses.

*

Meanwhile, running through the forests and hills of the Fire Country, Sarutobi and his teammates were being followed.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I made up teammates for Sarutobi, but apparently he has actual teammates, who became his elders. I will not re-write the chapter, but I hope you will keep reading and enjoying anyway...who knows, i may sort itself out....

Chapter 21: Amphibian

Jiraiya sat glumly at teh edge of the river, watching the waterfall splash into a pool just upstream, and then plunge down into an huge crevasse a little further down. The grey haired boy was trying to skip rocks across the river, with dubious success.

"OW!" A shiny, orange rock protested as one of Jiraiya's rocks sailed into it, hitting it with a soft squelch and plopping into a river. "Watcha do that for?" The rock stood up and turned around, revealing a huge frog crouched in the river. It must have been about waist high, and as it glared at Jiriaya it pulled a sodden blue vest and a small bar of soap out of the water, pulling the vest on and pocketing the soap.

"...You'r a frog? I thought the rock was talking." Jiriaya said, staring at the grumpy creature. It seemed to be rather young for some reason, but if it was young, then Jiraiya didn't want to know how big it's parents might be.

"I am not a _frog," _The web-footed creature huffed. "Talking forgs get kissed and turn into princes. Yecch. _I _am a _toad._ A special kind of Toad, that only lives on Myobokuzen. My name is Gamabunta, but you can call me Lord Gama."

"Lord Gama?....Wait, you said a special kind of toad, and you talk... Are you one of the...summonable creatures? Like those snakes?"

"I'm much better than any snake! And yes, my kind can be summoned, if you have a contract, and enough chakra."

"_Really?!_" Jiraiya jumped up and ran to the toad, splashing his clothes. "Can I have a contract then? Please? Please!"

Gamabunta huffed, all he'd wanted was to come and wash his vest and now he was being pestered by a stupid human! So frustrating....fine.

"If you want a contract, you'll have to come to Myobokuzen. But I bet you couldn't find your way up." Gamabunta smirked. There was no way this kid could do it.

Where is Mount...thingie?!"

"On the border between the land of Fire and Earth. It's the tallest mountain there. But you won't be able to find our home. Only if you know the way."

"I'll find it!! I will!" Jiraiya shouted, jumping up and down. "Which way do I go?!?"

"That way." Gamabunta pointed, before reverse summoning himself back toi Myobokuzen with a laugh. This was gonna be fun.

*

Jiriaya was a day and a half out of Konoha, unknowingly following his sensei's footsteps, and almost at the base of the mountain when he remembered that he should have told Tsunade he'd left.

Oh dear.

Jiraiya debated turning back, but at that point, it was getting dark, and through the trees, he saw a small flickering light. Hungry, and ever concerned primarily with his stomach at that age just before the growth spurt, Jiraiya began to walk towards it.

"So, the Ninja of the Earth Country are stationed here here and here. We need to destroy the supply dumps here, so we should go around this way..." Jisuke's voice came soflty through the forest, and Jiraiya stopped. He'd found Sarutobi-Sensei!

"But what about the river here, it's an ideal place for an ambush. If we go around like this, they won't be expecting it..." Sarutobi corrected.

"True, and even though it'll be easier t obe spotted, there is no place where they could easily ambush or outrun us on this route....Fine I'll go get Himeko off sentry duty. We'll leave in ten minutes?"

"Yes."

Jiraiya saw a flicker of movement in the darkness, and looked around. He could have sworn he'd seen...something....

After a minute, a silence fell over the forest, the sense of something terrible being discover just nearby.

"Himeko!!!" Jisuke's voice shattered the silence, a scream of absolute anguish, and the ambush was sprung.

Half a dozen black-clad bodies darted into the clearing, one of whom actually rose up from the earth, their clothes stained brown and red with dirt and blood.

"That's the problem with thosse other Ninja - they never bay attention to what is directly below them. Even the Byakugan can't help some-one who isn't paying attention." A cruel, musicla womans voice said, issuing from the the dirt-streaked mask.

"Shut up Shisume, and help!" Shouted one of the Ninja, who had engaged with Jisuke, who was fighting with suicidal recklessness and determination, coupled with the skill and subtlety of a powerful Jonin.

"tch Earth Style: Hidden Shuriken Jutsu!" Shisume put a hand to the earth, and there was a faint ripple, before her palm sunk up to the wrist. Jiriaiya watched in stunned horror, unable to see Sarutobi or the Ninja he was fighting, but able to hear the clash of shuriken and the whispered naming of Jutsu.

After a second, the earth erupted, a hundred yards away, around Jisuke, raining into dozens and dozens of razor keen shurikens made of rock.

Jisuke dodged up and away, the shuriken almost to hitting Shisume's teammates as they sliced towards him. Somehow, the redhaired shinobi managed to dodge all but one that sliced a line of red across his leg, making him grunt in pain as he landed.

"Hey!! You idiot!!" It was a third speaker, another woman, who sounded so much like Tsunade that it jolted Jiraiya out of his shock. He had to help his sensei's team.

"Transparency Jutsu!" Jiraiya's fingers flashed through the handsigns as he ran towards the fray. He was certain it would give him an advantage, since he'd practised it in Konoha, where the most powerful eye techniques were almost the norm among Shinobi. Other villages couldn't even compare with the Fire Nation's Visual jutsu.

"Wild Lion's Mane!" Jiraiya yelled, his hair treching out towards Shisume in an invisible tail, wrapping around her wrists arms and torso.

"What? A fourth?!" Shisume twisted her wrists, fingers coming together, and sharp stone ridges forming up her arms and down her back, slicing thorugh the hair. "Earth Style: weapon/armour Jutsu." As the hair fell away, she stood up and turned, pulling her mask away from her face and scanning the surrounds.

"Come out little ninja...come out and play with me..." the voice sent chills down Jiraiya's spine.

"Um..." Jiriaya paused for a few precious moments to think."Fire Style: Spark shield Jutsu!" Jiriaya formed the jutsu desperately, the sparks beginning to loop and swirl around him. As soon as the jutus was in motion, he rushed through a substitution, jumping away from the beacon.

HE ran towards Jisuke, the sounds of Sarutobi's invisible battle of Nijutus still a quiet constant background

"Found you, little idiot."

"Earth Style!! Endless Crevasse!" Jiraiya yelled, pressing his hands to the ground as soon as he saw Jisuke jump in a whirling dazzle of sword-blades. The trench opened from his hands, sinking deeper and deeper as Jiriaya desperately poured Chakra in, trying to trap the other ninja.

"What the-" The Earth ninja stumbled as the ground vanished form under them, some shouting out in surprise until Jisuke descended on them, blades scything down, bent on vengeance.

"Clever Ninja, that substitution...but I've got you now..." Jiriaya spun, hearing Shisume's voice just behind him, a Kunai in her hand.

Jiriaya froze in hoirror as the kunai began to descend unnerringly towards him, but at the last instant, someting small flashed across his vision, knocking the kunai out of shisume's hand.

"Run Jiriaya! Get out of here!!" Sarutobi's voice shouted from the trees, giving away his location. Immediately at least four dark shapes converged towards him. Jiriaya saw a small monkey, bleeding across the chest from where it had cut itself on the kunai it had saved Jiraiya from, vanish in a puff of smoke. Jiriaya was still frozen as Shisume recovered, sinking into the earth, and vanishing.

"I'll be back for you in a minute, little ninja, just as soon as I've killed your protector..."

*

Hihi, cliffie... (This is fixing the wrinkle in NAruto reality caused by getting Saru's teammates wrong). BWAHAHA!! Take THAT nitpickers!! But I luv ya all anyway for reviewing, so please don't stop? ~Ratpigeon


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22: Shisume vs Jiraiya.

Jiraiya felt his frozen limbs unlock as Shisume vanished. Screwing up his eyes in concentration, he tried to detect the faint pulse of her chakra permeating the earth. If he could just find her...

_There! _

Jiraiya paused for a second to think, before beginning the handsigns common to all earth-style jutsu, following them with those for his own, personal Hair attack.

"Earth Style: Uh, Wild Grass-roots-mane Jutsu!" He muttered, the author in him wincing at the name - while the author in me chuckled at how lame it is - as his hair began to burrow into the ground, spreading out and forming a loose net around the swiftly moving Shisume. He was about to continue his attack when he heard a soft scuff of shifting earth directly undre him - a clone!" Instantly, the web of Jiriaya's hair, wrapped around the second figure as well, and Jiraiya changed the handsigns.

"Endless Crevasse!" The grey-haired, currently invisible boy gasped, almost blacking out at the drain of chakra as the earth under his feet gave way, vanishing into a deep, wide gorge. He would have fallen, if another monkey, larger than the first, hadn't been nearby, using scent to detect the rather grubby child, protecting him on Sarutobi's orders. The man-sized primate grabbed Jiraiya by the scruff of his vest with an 'ook' as the boy began to tumble into the void.

Jiriaya shrieked as twice the weight of falling, full-grown woman, plus standard weapons and gear, tried to rip his hair out. Shisume and her clone were hanging in the gorge, cocconed in transparent webs of hair.

"What the hell you little brat!" They screamed, thrashing in a frenzy of anger. "What the hell did you do?!"

"I didn't want you to die..." Jiraiya murmured, his vision blurring from the pain in his head and exhaustion.

"That's foolish Jiraiya." Sarutobi said sadly, holding several scrolls as he appeared at Jiraiya's shoulder. "Hold her there. Don't let her come into contact with earth, and stay invisible." He said quickly patting the boy on the head before vanishing in a blur of movement.

"SARU!!" Jisuke's voice cut through the night, followed by a bellow of pain, as one of the Ninja drove a Kunai through his shoulder. The Jonin twisted, decapitating the faceless ninja, dodging away from more blows, his movements becoming ragged.

"Hold on Jisuke!" Sarutobi called, ratlling of lists and chains of jutsu, drawing the attack away from his red-haired teammate. Jiriaya, almost fainting, just managed to send tendrils of hair to latch onto the edge of the gorge, supporting the weight of Shisume and ehr clone.

"You F***ING KID!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" SHrieked Shisume, and a kunai slashed at the cocoon of hair, glinting in the moonlight. Jiraiya choked back a sob.

"Just leave me alone," he whimpered. He was tired and hungry, and his head ached, and he just wanted to go home... Feeling the warm, furry arms of the big monkey around him, Jiraiya curled up into a ball and began to whimper, tears running down his cheeks. Why wasn't his mother here to help? She was a Jonin so, why was it Jiraiya who was stuck here with a crazy Ninja who wanted to kill him, surrounded by enemies?

"Summoning Jutsu!" A huge monkey appeared in front of Saurtobi for aminute, before shrinking and twisting into the shape of a staff. There were only two ninja left, ducking and weaving through the trees.... that wasn't right, there should be another one...

"Air style: Slicing scimitar Jutsu!" A voice called through the forest. THere was a huge wind, slashing against Jiraiya's back and the monkey that held him. It seemed like a whirlwind had come into being, slicing through tree-branches, an gashing against the earth. It was the ninjutsu specialist Sarutobi had fought, the woman who sopunded like Tsunade. Jisuke and Sarutobi were knocked out of the air, mid leap, blood blossoming across their clothes under the touch of the wind. There was a snapping sound as the wind sliced through the hair webs Jiraiya had created. Shisume would have fallen to the ground if the monkey hadn't screamed at the shell-shocked Jiraiya, causing his hair to stand on end, chakra flowing through the ssliced strands and knitting them back together in an automatic response. In the cocoons, Shisume screamed in anger.

"Whoah! What's going on?" demanded a voice from the monkey's ankles. Jiraiya looked down, and, saw to his immense surprise, the small, orange toad, Gamabunta, who had been by the stream the other day.

"I don't know..." whimpered Jiraiya, biting his lip as more tears trickled down his face. He sniffed. "This is your fault."

"Hey, that's not fair! I just wanted to show you this cool new trick I learned, and the old man had a vision and said I should go help you... oh, damn... Do you have a spark?" Gamabunta pulled a large pipe, several times his size, from somewher in his vest. "This was my grandfathers."

"You're going to _smoke_?!?" Jriaiya asked increduosly.

"Not allowed to. I was going to use it as a hose." Gamabunta said, puffing up his stomach. "I had to drink a heap of special oil for part of my training, and now I wanna spit it at the baddies for you. Kapeesh? It'll help if you set fire to it for me."

"Oh...." Jiraiya nodded, pulling a small box of matches from one of his pouches. He was too tired to use any more chakra.

He'd just lit the match when fire blossomed through the trees, outlining Sarutobi, Jisuke and the two ninja they were fighting. Grinning, gamabunta stuck the pipe inot his mouth, holding it up so that he looked like a small, orange submarine with a huge periscope.

"Light me. I'm guessing the one with the jutsu is the baddy?" The toad pointed at the Tsunade-sound-alike, also silhouetted from behind by the flames. Jiraiya nodded, holding the match to the bowl of the pipe.

"Toad Oil Jutsu!!" Gamabunta said, his words muffled by the pipe as a huge spray of slick black oil fanned towards the kunoichi, igniting into a bellowing plum of flame. She screamed as her clothes caought on fire, falling to the ground and rolling around, trying to smother of the flame, her screams becoming more desparate as they spread instead, until at last, with a final bubbling shriek, she fell silent.

Jiraiya retched, wanting to heave his whole stomach out of his mouth, narrowly missing Gamaabunta, who had gone an unhealthy yellowish colour.

"That was horrible... I wanna go back to Myobokuzen." He muttered, jumping into Jiriaya's arms after the boy had finished throwing up. The trasnparency jutsu had faded, he simply ahd no chakra left to sustain it, even his wild lion's mane was on the verge of giving way.

The forest got dark and hissed, swathed with smoke as the fire was suddenly put out by a deluge of water from some jutsu. Shortly afterwards, Sarutobi came back, supporting a limping Jisuke. He barely even looked at Jiraiya, settling Jisuke onto the ground and roughly binding the deep wound in his shoulder, before going over to Jiraiya.

"Wind Prison Jutsu." He muttered, and the two silvery cocoons of Jiraiya's hair were encased in a swirling barrier of air. "you can release the jutsu now, Jiriaya," Muttered Sarutobi, slicing the strands of hair that connected the boy to Shisume, and the now empty cocoon that had held her clone. The hateful woman was still screaming threats, pounding against the walls of her prison, her voice thankfully muted by it.

"Thankyou, I've already dismissed Enma. You go home now too." Sarutobi said to the monkey, taking Jiraiya and Gamabunta out of its arms. The monkey nodded, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"What on earth were you doing here?" Sarutobi asked his pupil, putting him down, but the boy had already fallen unconscious, his face pale and drawn. With a sigh, Saurtobi put down his student, and turned to Jisuke, who was clutching his knees, eyes blank.

"Hime- Himeko is dead, Saru, what are we going to do?" Hiruzen Sarutobi didn't know how to answer, so he simply put a hand on his surviving teammates shoulder, and sat down to wait out the rest of the long night.

*

That was a lot of writing... Please R&R for me tho!? And thanks to everyone who already has!! ^_^ ~Ratpigeon.

*


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23: Myobokuzen

Jiraiya awoke to a symphony of pain. His head hurt, his chest hurt his various limbs hurt, his butt hurt, even his hair, hurt. And his spirit felt like it had been through a blender. All in all, not too bad shape for someone coming out of their first solo fight with a jonin.

"You're awake." Jiraiya looked over to see an orange toad perched on a rock beside him. Sarutobi was sitting on the ground next to it, while Jisuke was standing watch among the trees.

"What are you doing here? You nearly got yourself, and everyone else killed." Sarutobi demanded, a scowl heavy on his face.

"Gamabunta told me that if I found Mount Myoboku, I'd be able to learn summoning jutsu." Jiriaya said, sitting up with a groan. He'd never seen Sarutobi-sensei this angry before...

"So you ran off by yourself into a warzone." Sarutobi stood up, his frown darkening further. "Fine, you're coming back with us, we need to take Shisume in for questioning. She's one of Iwagakure's more dangerous ninja, because of her unreliability. Eat this, we're leaving in ten minutes." Sarutobi tossed Jiraiya some of the hard-tack that Ninja generally carried on missions, as well as a small foodpill.

"Hey, old guy, wait up. I was told to bring him to mount Myobokuzen, and Ma won't make me dinner iff I come back empty-handed. He'll be safe with us, I promise." Gamabunta sat up, waving his arms around earnestly.

"Please let me go, Sarutobi-sensei? I wanna learn summoning jutsu. Everyone has one except for me, and they're so cool..." Jiriaya gingerly got to his knees, in preparation for begging his teacher.

"Let the kid go." Jisuke said, his voice harsh. Jiraiya noticed with a start as the red-head came over that his eyes were red-rimmed, almost as if he'd been crying... "We can't slow down for him."

Sarutobi seemed torn, but after amoment's hesitation, he stood up.

"Fine, I'll tell Ara you're safe. You can deal with your teammates once you get back." At that, Sarutobi waved a hand, and the swirling wind prison he had created the previous night flew towards him, Shisume still swearing and screaming, ineffectually, inside.

"Let's go." The Konoha ninja disappeared in a rush of movement.

"Okay! Let's go too!" Gamabunta said, turning towards a tall mountain. "This way."

*

After about ten minutes, Gamabunta stopped and turned to Jiraiya.

"Okay, now that we're away from all prying eyes, I can do the reverse summoning." Gamabunta said, beginning to scratch in the dirt with a stick."Just give me a minute - I've never had to take someone else with me before. Cut your finger for me."

"What? Why?" Jiriaya asked, jerking away from the toad.

"I need some of your blood so that you can come along with me, since you don't have a permanent contract." Gamabunta held out a webbed hand.

Jiraiya scrutinised the frog for a minute, before suspiciously pulling out a kunai and nicking one of his fingers. Gama wiped one of his slimy hands over the cut, using the blood to trace several symbols around the ones he'd already drawn. Jiriaya looked down at his hand with some surprise as the pain vanished, seeing the slime seal the cut up.

"Okay, stand over here, and put me up on your shoulder." Gama said, brushing his hands together. "Good. Reverse Summoning Jutsu!!"

Jiraiya felt a wrench, as he was dragged far away from his stomach in the blink of an eye, to land, dizzied and nauseous in a tropical forest of huge leaves.

"There that wasn't so bad..." Gambunta fell off Jiraiya's shoulder with a thump.

"I think I'm going to be sick-"

"Bunta-chan, there you are! You were meant to call Pa when you got to the base of the mountain!" An old toad, about Gamabunta's size and emanating amatronly vibe walked up along the path. "Ah, YOu must be the boy, I'm Shima, but you can just call me Ma." She smiled, before dodging aside, Jiraiya's projectile vomit missing her by inches.

"Tsk tsk. Let's get you inside and cleaned up. THen I'll give you some hot soup and you'll feel better in no time. Follow me!" Ma waved a hand, easily hoisting the woozy Gamabunta in her other arm, and began to waddle back along the path, tutting to herself.

"I think I'll make newt and lily soup tonight, maybe adding some oil for spice - no that would turn the boy into stone, Ill have to use mud..."

*

Sarutobi and Jisuke sat in front of the hokage's office, despondent, as they waited to be assigned a new team member. Hashirama had been nothing but sympathetic and sorrowful over the loss of Himeko, for the five minutes allowed before reports came flooding back in. Tobirama was out on a mission, but apparently it was another of his former students who was to replace Himeko - a young woman by the name of Koharu Utatane. Ninjutsu user, with some skills in Genjutsu. Sarutobi tore up the file with a despondent sigh. He'd worked with Jisuke and Himeko since he'd been a child, even through the end of the first Great Ninja war. The three of them weren't even friends, but they were truly comrades-in-arms, and losing Himeko felt like he'd lost his eyes.

"Why do we even need to bother with some new girl?" Asked Jisuke. He hadn't even looked at his own copy of the file, "We're two of the best ninja in Konoha."

"Three members is the safest number, and we need a genjutus user." Sarutobi said.

"Uncle!!" Jisuke looked up, the lines of grief around his eyes fading slightly as he saw the red-haired gennin.

"Hey, Ukito, what are you up to?" Jisuke asked, ruffling the boys red hair.

"I heard that you're going to get my sensei for your new teammate." Ukito said, his smile fading as he saw Jisuke flinch. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine. So, how come you didn't get to chuunin this year?"

Ukito flushed and was beginning to mumble an answer when a stern voice sounded from around the corner.

"Ukito! You're meant to be training! And remind Minna to work on her elemental ninjustu." A woman, about four years younger than the two jonin on the bench came into view, her black hair bound up in a bun. She had dark blue eyes and a severe expression as she turned to the two men, nodding her head as Ukito left sheepishly.

"Jisuke-san, Sarutobi-san." She said, formally. "I am Koharu Utatane, I am sorry for your loss of a teammate."

Jisuke glared at her, something approaching hate in his eyes.

*

here's an update. If anyone has anything that is important to the history, other than Homura being left out, still, then please PM me with the event or post it in a review. I'm trying to be accurate as well as creative here, so any help is hugely appreciated, other than that I just want reviews...


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24: Memories

Jisuke stood at the window of his apartment, staring out at the large moon, and turning over a small, folded square of silk, passing it through his calloused swordsman's hands. A small, dull fire in one corner of te dishevelled room threw contorted shadows across the walls, colouring the room with bloody light.

_Himeko..._

Jisuke turned back from the window, unfolding the silk square as he approached the fire. It held a single loc of sleek black hair. It was the only part of Himeko's remains that had remained untainted by the blood that had splattered from her mutilated body, the only part of her that he'd been able to return to Konoha, to give a proper funeral to. The rest of her lay rotting, unrecognisable, in a nameless strech of forest. A single drop of water fell on the silky hair, sitting, like a tiny diamond on the fine strands. Jisuke brushed it away impatiently, feeling pain rise up again as he felt it, it looked the same, it felt the same, as when she was alive, but now, instead of the faint warmth and the sweet fragrance of flowers, it was cold, and smelt of frozen earth...

Jisuke drew in a stranle gasp, wrapping the hair up in it's packet again.

_I'm sorry, Himeko, I never even got the chance to tell you...I always loved you..._

Another tear, trickled down Jisukke's cheek, it looked like blood in the firelight, as the Shinobi threw the silk, and Himeko's precious remains onto the fire, where they flared slightly before burning away to ash.

_Goodbye Himeko...._

Jisuke closed his eyes for a moment, before standing up to leave, his shoulders straight and his face impassive. The blood-hued tear dried, unnoticed, upon his cheek; A Shinobi never cries.

*

Tobirama Senju walked into his big brother's office just before midnight travelstained and limping, a dirty bandage just visible under a blood-stained tear on the right thigh of his pants.

"Did it go well?" Hashirama, Shodaime Hokage looked the white-haired Jonin up and down, his eyebrows tightening in concern as he saw the blood.

"Yes, Kumorigakure is in a state of turmoil, they're electing a new Raikage, since their First was recently killed by Sunagakure ninja, Suna's Kazekage has begun training a successor. Kirigakure is continuing barbarous, and Iwagakure's Tsuchikage desperately wants to find out what happened to his niece, Shisume."

"Captured, she's currently under observation by Inoko Yamanaka." Hashirama shared a wry look with his brother. Inokoko, a mistress of the shadow possession Jutus, was well known for her unorthodox, experimental and very effective ways of gathering information - ways that were nearly outlawed when basic rules of Shinobi war were drawn up, as cruel and unusual treatment. THe only reason she was still practising was because the Kages had scrapped the whole idea of rules when they couldn't think up any others that everyone would agree to, let alone abide by.

"Poor girl."

"I would have just thrown her in jail, except she called me names." Tobirama chuckled at his brother's words, but the Shodaime became serious. "Is there any news of MAdara?"

"No, brother. Forget about him, he's well and truly dead." Tobirama sighed, as HAshirama shrugged the comment off.

"I don't think that he is. Something felt off when I fought him. He's not the kind that would die so easily."

"I hardly think there was anything easy about smashing one of the most powerful shinobi ever into little pieces. But, I'll keep looking."

"Thankyou." Tobirama smiled wanly at his Hokage, exhaustion catching up with him, before leaving the Hokage's tower to find an awake doctor to fix his leg.

*

Jiraiya watched Gamabunta and Fukasaku, Ma Shima's husband, intently. Fukasaku was training Gamabunta in something called Sage techniques, and the little frog was horrendous at it. The little human sympathised.

"Your never going to make anything other than a warrior. I might be able to teach you some jutsus, but Sage mode is beyond you, you pesky child." Fukasaku gave Gama an exasperated, but light, knock with his special stick. "I bet I could teach the boy here better. Come here, Jiriaiya-chan."

"Will I get hit with the stick?" Jiriaya asked, tentatively, as Gamabunta whooped with delight and darted away, relieved to be free of his lessons.

"Yes, but I'll teach you some killer techniques."

"okay...."

*

Tsunade glared at Any hapless person who happened to come within six feet of her perch in the hotspirng closest to the dividing wall between the two sections. She was sitting, with her legs hanging out the edge of the warm water, steadfastly facing the dividing wall. And yet, no ghost. Where was that jerk!! He'd been missing for two weeks! Tsunade had come to the hotsprings to flaunt her self to the air every day, since he had vanished, just so that she could be the first to get ehr hands on him. She'd already been in this stinking bath for two hours straight, and was bright red from the heat. With a snarl, she stood up, wrapping the small towel around her waist and stalking out. SHe'd go find Orochimaru, and get him to send a snake to track that stupid pervert.

*

Jiriaiya rubbed his sore head as he finished Ma's famous newt stew. He'd been training with Fukasaku, or Pa as he preferred to be called, for two days now, and was nearly as bad as Gamabunta.

"Jiraiya! Let's go play hide-and-seek!" Gama said, pushing back his plate, scoured clean of his third serving.

"Okay." Jiriaya followed the toad out the door and down the hillside, towards where the lily-leaf forest grew more thickly.

"Okay, you count first and I'll go-" THe toad broke off with a teriffied croak as a large purple snake raised it's head from the grass. "Holy-" Jiraiya jumped in front of the frog as the snake lunged, scooping up a stick from the ground, and wishing he hadn't gotten so lax as to forget every one of his weapons at Ma and Pa's house. He thrust the stick desparately at the snake, and was immensely surprised when he managed to trap the snake just under it's head with a fork in the end. Jiriaya pushed the stick into the ground, pinning the hissing snake down, and looked at it, feeling avague sense of reacognition. The snake thrashed, slithering onto it's stomach and revealign the angry kanji painted on it's back.

_I am going to KILL you, Jiraiya, Tsunade._ Gama looked up at Jiraiya as the young chuunin went white.

"oh shi....vers. I need to get home!!"

*


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25: Bridging chapter to PART TWO!!!

(I didn't want to have to write up _every single day _so I decided to have a time skip. this is a brief accound ot what went on during, it may be streched out into many chapters after this whole thing is finished, but for now, Its' short. ~Ratpigeon)

Jiraiya TSunade and Orochimaru spent the next three years on missions, barely seeing their teacher, Sarutobi, and spenidng most of their leisure time training separately, Jiraiya with Fukasaku and the toads on Myobokuzen, where he learnt the prophecy about his student, Tsunade with the medics, focussing more and more on her medical jutus as the war progressed and she saw her brother brutally murdered, and Orochimaru by himself, in the library, studying ancient scrolls for new, more powerful jutsu. Even so, the bond between the three deepened, and when Tsunade got her first boyfriend - neither Orochimaru nor Jiraiya - the rivalry between the two faded, and was replaeced by a shared, intese dislike of the jerk who Tsunade had fallen in love with, now a huge-chested seventeen-year-old, or at least in like with.

This coincided with Jiraiya's jonin exams - him being the last member of the trio to take them, having been too busy with his training on mounto Myoboku to complete them.

The Shodaime was still fearful of Madara's schemes, and, fearing Uchiha treachery, began to subtly contain them, sending Tobirama out for whatever news possible. While, in Kirigakure, a mad Kage came to power, intensifying the bloody training regime of the young genin there, and revelling in the pools of bloodt that caused the town to be renamed Bloody Mist.

Koharu Utatane and Jisuke create a constant tension within their cell, and many times nearly forfeit an entire mission in their disputes.

The war continues, unabated, ravaging the great nations, and bringing the lesser nations to the brink of destruction.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26: Jonin.

Jiraiya streched, pulling on his flak jacket and grinningn at the bright light coming in through the window. He'd been home for a week straight already, and felt better than he had in a long time.

The bottom dropped out of his thoughts as he realised why he had been given a break. The Jonin exams. Crap.

"Hey!! Hurry up you perve!" Yelled TSunade from downstairs. "Your going to be late!"

"Coming! Jiraiya was too nervous to think of an appropriate comeback, so he simply hurried downstairs, grabbing some Onigiri as he passed the kitchen. Tsunade, her eyes sadder and her chest bigger, and her fists badder than when they had been children, was standing impatientlyat the door.

"Your mother said she'd meet us there." She said, beckoning, "But don't think your getting it easy - I got to see a copy of the test, since I'll be the Medic-on-call, and it looks even harder than mine - at least for you..."

Jiriaya nodded - it wasn't unexpected, Ara was always trying to prove that she wouldn't favour her own son over other students in the various examinations she was in charge of planning. So much so that she tried to hold Jiraiya back a year of school, simply because he got 65% in his final examination...

Still, it was definitely not welcome news.

*

"Jiraiya-kun, your jonin exam has been determined particularly to test your weaknesses and strengths as a Ninja." Ara's voice was cold and distant as she watched her son, her silver hair bound up tightly, except for a few bangs framing her black eyes and tanned face. "you will be required to make use of the natural features of the terrain, and will not be allowed any weapons. You must defeat your two opponents to pass."

"Jiraiya-kuun!!" Jiriaya turned to see a double sillhouette of a pretty, black-haired girl of about his age...

"Mizuko-chan!! Ameko-chan!"

"We've been told that we have to fight you for our Jonin exams. No rules, and no hard feelings, right?"

"What?" Jiraiya turned to his mother. "Your putting me against _two _of my classmates, and telling me that _I _have to be handicapped?!?"

"Is there a problem?"

"N-no mum..." Jiraiya muttered, feeling his empty pouches ruefully.

"What did you call me?"

"Uh! I mean, Ara-sensei! Sorry!"

"Good. You may begin."

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Mizuko and Ameko vanished in a swirl of dust, darting off among the trees. Jiriaiya began to create his transparencyt jutsu , but when he realised that his mother was still standing under one of the trees, watching him, he decided against it - she was probably smart enough to figure out the identity of the still uncapured Ghost of the hot springs...

Jiraiya yawned as he leapt into the tree branches, feeling the exhaustion of a late night of research last night begin to catch up with him. He felt like his head was being stuffed with feathers... but there was no way he was going to pass if he fell asleep, Mizuko and Ameko would pound hi-

Jiraiya's head snapped up as he realised he was fighting the two best Genjutsu specialists among all the Chuunin in Konoha, and he formed the release sign. Instantly his head cleared, and he looked around, securing his hiding palce in the trees. Of course it was Genjutus type, he hated genjutsu.

_hm, well, I don't have any weapons, either, so I'll have to work with ninjutsu or Genjutsu. I can't do Genjutsu, especially against a Genjutus type, but My Ninjutus isn't too shoddy, after all that training with Pa and Bunta..._

Jiraiya broke off his train of thought and dodged as he saw senbon needles flying towards his head from various angles - he had to be greatful that he wasn't fighting Tsunade, since these two were at least keeping it above the belt.

"Summoning Jutsu." Jiraiya pressed a hand to the tree branch, and several small frogs appeared, some of them even with traces of tail left. "Okay, boys, and girls, I need you to go and find the twin girls hiding in the forest- bretty, with shortish black hair and blue eyes. When you find them, I need you to jump down the backs of their necks." Jiriaya watched as the toads hopped off, before he began to survey the 'environment.' It was typical Konoha forest, but to 'use the terrain' he would have to do something better than hiding in a tree."

To his left, in the south, he could here the waterfall, while up to the norhteast, he could just see the top of the large cliff above Konoha. Neither of which were close enough or small enough to be of much use. However, to the southwest, just close enough for him to get to, was the deep canyon Sarutobi had made to punish him. Having experimented with the various Earth Nature Jutsu, he was now familiar with the details of how that canyon had been created.

Piercing shrieks echoed around the forest.

"Summoning Jutsu! hey, Gamabunta, can you go fetch back your little siblings - and also, I need you to slick down the area you find them in with oils. But don't let yourself get caught in any Genjutsu." Jiriaya sent his companion through the years of training off with a wave, before he began preparing his jutsus.

*

Sorry this has taken so long, and the chapter is short to boot. I won't be updating till at least wednesday, probably after, since I have TESTS!!!! yucky. Anyway, I thought I'd get this up fast, rather than making you all wait an extra five days for what would probably have been another hundred words. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with what is becoming an arduous and long tale of high adventure... ^_^ ratpigeon.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 27: 'Chivalry'

"Wild lion's mane Jutus." Jiraiya muttered, the long white strands of hair following Gamabunta to the twins who were still trying to get toads out of their own hair. "Endless crevasse jutus." HE gasped slightly as he felt a massive amount of chakra leave his body, causing the ground to rumble as it travelled under the ground, pushing it away, moving the earth like water towards the first chasm in Konoha, and creating another one, streching otwards where Gamabunta and his siblings.

Making his way along the crevasse at slightly less than his usual spritely gait - he was tired, and had just made a huge hole in the ground - Jiraiya went to look for the twins, feeling the slight pressure on his hair form where it held them suspended above the large chasm, slicked with the oil that he had persuaded Gama to cover the ground with...

"Hey girls." he said, standing at the edge of the chasm and examining them. THey were both fairly grubby, and covered in thick black oil, their silver-blue eyes wide with disgust and terror.

"Let us down!"

"You pig! How can you treat girls like this!!"

"You two are both Kunoichi who want to be jonin." Jiraiya said, wrinkling his nse in distaste. It really bugged him when a kunoichi tried to claim the right to being a girl - they didn't need it, so that just made them lazy. "And it's two against one - I can't afford to give you special treatment."

"These two girls complain a lot." Gamabunta whined from his perch on the web of hair strung over the canyon. "It's really annoying."

"_You_ complain a lot, Bunta." Jiriaya said, idly tossing a rock form the edge of the canyon at the toad. "Anyway, Mizuko, Ameko. Yield? Or do I have to drop you?"

"I vote you drop em. They probably won't die - there's pretty deep water at the bottom." Bunta said, tossing the rock back.

"That's not very chivalrous though is it. I'll just have to take them to mum, and hope she passes me."

*

"Did you use weapons?"

"No! I told you that already!"

"How did you use the terrain?"

"I moved Sarutobi-sensei's huge trench to suspend the girls over, if it had been a real fight, I could have simply dropped them down it. Do I pass?"

Ara studied her son for a minute, one hand brushing back her silver bangs.

"Fine, Now, let Mizuko and Ameko out."

"Alright!!" Jiriaya whooped, giving Gamabunta's warty, webbed hand a high five, dismissing him, before letting the web of hair around the two girls disintegrate with a handsign. He felt a horrible sense of dislocation as the strands of hair fell away, and he heard a very annoyed, female voice in his ear.

"You jerk."

THere was the familiar sensation of a kunai pressed against his throat, as he saw Mizuko standing in front of him, panting slightly from the effort of her genjutsu.

"I guess this means we win." She said, wiping a glob of oil out of her hair. "Ara should be here in a minute."

"Can't we talk about this? Ame-chan, you don't need to hold a knife at my throat. It's very unladylike."

"We're kunoichi trying to be Jonin. We can't afford to give you special treatment." Ameko said, tilting her knife slightly.

"Well, you could.... OW!" Jiraiya winced as Mizuko slapped him, the Kunai in her palm stinging his cheek. "God, all women are so... Next you'll be trying to cut my hair with a ku-" He broke off as the dark haired young woman took her knife to his hair. "This is so disgusting! Why can't you just cut it? It's horrible. So, until Ara gets here, I am going to make you presentable."

"If I have my hair long, then most of my jutsu take less chakra. Y'know, Lion's mane and it's derivatives... Anyway, how much time have you been spending with Tsunade to get this obsessive about my hair?" He asked, trying to come up with some sort of plan, preferably one that wouldn't get his throat cut.

"None - she spends all her time in the hospitals. You three are so busy, It's crazy. I mean your not even a Jonin, butthey keep on sending you out on those A-rank missions, its like the Hokage is _trying _to get you killed..."

"That's an exaggeration... Look over there!!" Jiriaya yelled, feeling the knife graze his throat as the two girls jumped - neither looked though.

"Do you think we're stupid?" Mizuko asked, studying Jiriaya's face with a scowl.

"Not really, but I think that I should get a reward for fast handsigns - Wild Lion's Mane Jutsu." Jiraiya managed to get his hair around Ameko's hand before she could stab him, and dodged away. "OWWWW!" Ameko's hand came with him, the rest of her attached - and she was fairly heavy. "summoning Jutsu." Jiraiya wiped his thumb across the neck, before slapping it down on the nearest surface. "Bunta, help!"

The toad looked around.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know! Find Mizu-chan before she can genjutus us again. I'll deal with Ameko." Jiraiya spun to face the girl, who had managed to cut her way out of his hair and was even now forming various handsigns. "Genjutsu release."

"Suiton, Aqua blast."

Jiraiya was knocked back by a pressurised jet of water, and was thrown, winded, into a tree.

"We know more than just Genjutsu." She snapped, pulling out her kunai. Gamabunta meanwhile, was trying to grab Mizuko with his rather slippery webbed hands.

"Oh crud." Jiraiya darted away from the kunai as they thudded into the tree. This was going to be tricky....

*

Well, finally, there is another chapter. So, please enjoy.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 28: Defensive offense

Jiraiya panted as he ran through the forest, summoning up a variety of transparent shadowclones to act as lookouts. He was running dangerously low on chakra, and had no idea how to beat Mizuko and Ameko, without seriously hurting them, since he'd already used most of his non-lethal jutsu, and couldn't use any equipment. Jiraiya hissed as he saw a high chain link fence rise before him, and just managed to avoid slamming into it. It was the edge of the Forest of Death, where that cursed tower with the great big red demon thingie slept - Kyuubi - It was also somewhere that hopefully, no-one would look, since it was notoriously dangerous, and without the Shodaime expending his chakra to seal nine-tailed fox, it made its presence felt throughout the forest, in spite of the insanely powerful wards all over the tower.

With a grunt, Jiraiya wove his fingers through the fence and began to climb, he didn't have enought vchakra to simply run up, so he had to make do with the agonisingly slow progress that hsibody could make.

Ten minutes later, he was standing under the shady canopy, looking for something to eat as his stomach protested loudly enough to give away his transparent body.

He hunkered down next to a small plant with smal black berries, kind of like a blueberry bush, except that the leaves weren't as shiny... HE was just about to pick a handful and shove them in hsi mouth, when he remembered, years ago, being sent into the forest for the chuunin exam, and the look on the proctors face when he suggested eating the native flora and fauna.

Taking a step back form the bush, Jiraiya paused, hopping from foot to foot in an absent minded way as he recalled the handsigns. After a few moments of deliberation, he made several swift gestures and pressed his fingertips to his eyelids.

"Poison detection jutsu." He said quietly, opening his eyes. HE jumped away from the berry bush in front of him as it flared up a bright orange under the filter of the jutsu - deadly, do NOT eat, _very _deadly. Backing away, Jiraiya examined the rest of the forest, miost of which was appearing in varying shades of orange poisonous-ness, or grey for simply inedible, like rocks. Even the trees were lit with an orange glow. Jiraiya grumbled, not sure if he was glad or frustrated that Tsunade had taught him this jutsu last year when they'd gone on a mission together, and, on his turn to forage, he'd come back with a wilderness rendition of Ma Shima's newt and mud stew. After all, the jutsu had probably just saved his life, but it meant that he had nothing to _eat..._

Swearing quietly, Jiraiya wandered through the forest looking for a green, edible food that he could eat to replenish his chakra, energy and general will to live. Once he had food, he would summon up Gamabunta, and they'd think of some way to beat Mizuko and Ameko.

*

HAlf an hour later, Jiraiya say a flash of green from the corner of his eye - which was starting to ache from the jutsu, as well as the rest of his head. He spun and pounced, gripping something small, slimy and wriggling in his hands.

It was a frog. Jiriaya went slightl green as he realised this - the creature looked dreadfully similar to some of the myobokuzen toads, and eating it seemed wrong - not quite so bad as eating a person, but getting up there. Gama and his extended family were his _friends._

With a sigh, he let the frog go, and slumped down on the bank of the river he had come to. Maybe he could catch a few fish. He thought, digging his fingers listlessly into the soil in search of worms, his stomache growling and his eyes drooping from chakra induced fatigue.

__

I remember you.

Jiraiya's eyes snapped open, as _he _remembered the half growl that sounded in his mind. The demon _was _making its presence felt throughout the entire stinking forest. Trying to ignore the voice, working with the vague belief that if you pretended the boogeyman wasn't real, it'd go away, Jiriaya pulled out a hand ful of worms from the earth. He went over to the stream, dropping them into the water as bait, before spreading a finely woven net of hair over the rocky bottom, not letting the mocking, amused growl in his head distract him, as he began humming to drown it out.

_Why are you in my forest?_

Jiraiya didn't answer, and the Kyuubi apparently didn't see fit to pester him - probably below its dignity - so he spent a peaceful ten minutes fishing, trying to ignore the feeling of Kyuubi's presence wafting through his thoughts with a purring growl, a sensation that sent tingles of horror and revulsion tingling down his spine.

When after ten minutes, a small school of fat silver fish that Jiraiya recognised from the pool near the waterfall, swam by, stopping to eat the bloated and drowned worms, Jiraiya tightened his net, catching the fish up in one swift move, before running for the edge of the forest, feeling Kyuubi's presence weakening in his mind with every step he took, until it vanished with a whisper.

_Run away little kit..._

Reaching the edge of the forest, Jiraiya paused to lean against a tree and retch, glad that he had managed to avoid all of the nasties of the forest - although admittedly, most of them were kept at bay by Kyuubi, and there weren't half as many of them as there were in Naruto's day. When his empty stomach had been vacuumed and steam-cleaned, he sat down to light a small fire and cook his fish, planning his next move.

*

"Where the hell is he?" Asked Mizuko, washing the last of the toad oil out of her hair with a canteen of water.

"He can't have just run away - then he'd fail too." Ameko continued, her wet hair hanging limply around her shoulders.

"Maybe he got bored and went to peek on girls at the hotspirngs."

"He'd do that, wouldn't he?"

"Of course, shall we go see if we can find him?"

*

Jiraiya sat, transparently on a nearby rock, his mouth open in disbelief. They didn't believe he'd just run off like that in the middle of a mission, did they?

Apparently they did, as both girls got up and walked off in the direction of the hotsprings. Not quite believing his eyes, Jiraiya tried a genjutsu dispell, but nothing happened, and so, suspiciously, he followed Mizuko and Ameko, to continue his mission at the local hot spring.

*

Finished!!! I've been on holiday, so I couldn't really write, but in exchange, I made it longer than usual, although not much happens... Anyway, please R&R! ^_^


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 29: Mind over Matter.

Jiraiya sat on the dividing fence of the hot springs, swearing silently to himself as he focussed on finding the twins. This was simply cruel. Here above all these beautiful women - and it was a particularly good view today, possibly because everyone knew Jiraiya was having his Jonin exam today...

He dragged his mind off yellow notepaper as he spotted two identical heads of black hair. Perfect.

"Oh, Hi, Tsunade." Mizuko said, and Jiraiya's jaw dropped. He hadn't managed to peek on tsunade in _years, _and - holy mama those were big...

"Aren't you two usually here in the mornings?" Tsunade asked coolly, tilting her head at the sun hanging low over the walls around the springs.

"We figured Jiraiya might be here - he vanished in the middle of our Jonin exam."

Tsunade instantly wrapped her arms over her chest, the tiny towel barely covering her waist as she glared at the two girls. Jiraiya figured that this was as good as using the environment, as Mizuko and Ameko quailed under the Jonins soon to be famed glare.

With a few gestures, a large orange toad appeared, neatly scooping both girls into its mouth before it shrunk down to a fraction of its size and neatly dodged Tsunade's fist.

"JIRAIYA!"

Jiraiya skedaddled.

*

"Hey, mum, I've captured two twins, wihtout using any weapons. Sorry it took so long." Jiraiya held out the toad, in which both Ameko and Mizuko were neatly tied up with thick skeins of silver hair. "Spit 'em out." He told the it, putting it down. The toad complied, growing to several times its size and disgorging the bound twins before vanishing in a puff of smoke that curled up to the sunset red sky before fading.

Ara studyied the two, slightly drooly, very slightly clad girls with a faint frown.

"Did he use weapons, girls?" She asked, slightly harsher than she intended.

"Wea-"

"-Pons? No... why?"

"And I guess that huge gorge you made was the environment?" She asked, turning to her son.

"Yep, and I went fishing to replenish my chakra." He said, grinning. "Now, can I please go - I had to fetch them from the Springs, and now Tsunade's pissed." At the last phrase he looked around, nervously.

"...Fine. You passed. I'll tell the hokage that you're a Jonin." Ara said after a brief pause.

"Alright!!" Jiraiya pumped the air with a fist, cheering briefly, before vanishing, except for a faint cloud of dust showing where the now transparent boy had gone.

"Be safe..." Ara murmured, before turnign to face the two twins, as well as wait for one annoyed, blonde, young jonin. "You two should go get dressed."

*

"Tsunade! Uh... hi... did you hear - I became a Jonin?" Jiraiya found himself with his back to a tree, Tsunade standing in front of him, so mad that her ponytail practically quivered.

"No, but I _did _hear you were at the hot springs in the middle of the exam."

"Well... Blame the twins! They were the ones who went there - I just followed them."

"I am blaming them - I just haven't found them yet." Tsunade said, flicking her hair away from her face. "Anyway, we have a mission. Orochimaru is already at the edge of the village with all the details."

"So... I'm not in trouble?"

"...Not yet."

*

The shodaime looked at his brother, his black eyes unfathomable.

"There's something about the war theat we're missing." He told the younger man. It was a discussion they'd had many times.

"Kirigakure is not linked to Madara, no matter how blood-thirsty they may have become, and your _dead _nemesis isn't a god and will not comme back to life." Tobirama sighed, folding his arms. He was beginning to worry that the constant strains upon his brother as the leader of the Fire village were beginning to affect him.

"And what about this afternoon - the Kyuubi was more active than it has been in years, precisely at the same time as the Kirigakure launched a major attack against the village in the rocks."

"The'yve been in trouble since we captured Shisume - and we can hardly send her back now - she's been completely broken by Inoko." Tobirama said, feeling slightly guilty. He'd seen the Yamanaka reasearcher with her new aide only a few days ago, and the unkempt, blank-eyed shell was unrecognisable as having ever been a shinobi, let alone an S-rank Jonin..

"Anyway," He continued. "You cna't just leave off to Kirigakure to investigate - they'd kill you."

"Kirigakure has ample amounts of both water and earth. I'd be fine, and if there is any chance of Madara having something to do with it..."

"He's _dead._" Tobirama interrupted, resisting hte urge to shake his big brother and repeat the word several times.

"No, little brother, he's not." Hashirama said, standing up. "And I can't let his presence threaten this village anymore. Keep an eye on this village, and watch the other Uchiha. He may be hiding among them, or try to contact them. I'm going to Kirigakure."

"You can't-"

"I am the Hokage. I can." Hashirama said, walking to the door. "Keep an eye on the village for me, okay, little brother?" Haishirama senju said with a slight smile, before walking out the door, which thickened slightly in its frame behind him, jamming Tobirama into the room until he managed to burn it down, long after the Hokage had vanished in search of MAdara.

*

I am really not having fun here. Does anyone have a mission they should go on?


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter thirty: Mist.

No-one knew what happened to Hashirama Senju. Tsunade spent the next week in deep mourning, breaking up with her brief boyfriend - much to Jiraiya's relief, although, funnily enough, Orochimaru was nowhere to be found to comfort her. A gap that Jiraiya tried to fill - even if Orochimaru was creepy and slightly herpetological (not that Jiraiya knew the scientific word for snakelike), he did - occasionally - have an extraordinary sensitivity to Tsunade's emotions, even when Jiraiya didn't notice that something was wrong.

Shortly after Torbirama became Nidaime Hokage, he called back Sarutobi and his unit from their mission, a top-secret assignment that had takken them months. He also called back another Jonin cell, that, for some reason, Jiraiya had never met before - lead by a dark-haired man called Danzou... THe rumours that fluttered among the older villagers hinted at an infiltration mission to Kumogakure that had lasted years, and included the assasination of at least one Raikage...

"Congratulations, Jiraiya!" Sarutobi bellowed as he met his two fair-haired students outside one of the local food-places. "It seems you finally got your promotion!"

"Yep. And I've found myself a publisher too. I'm going to becme a real author." He held up one of the prototypes for his book, _Icha Icha _scrawled across the cover. He hadn't dared to tell anyone - it took mind to understand true pervery - but felt safe enough here, with his teacher to protect him from Tsunade.

"I want a signed copy - gratis." SArutobi said, grinning, knowing that his student would have to fork up in repayment for all the times he'd let the boy get out of training to 'research'.

"Here you go - it's not even officially out yet." He handed Sarutobi the book with a grin, ignoring Tsunade's glare as they walked under the short curtain and into the stall.

*

Tobirama Senju stood in the office that had formerly been his brother's. The small plant on the desk had withered and died about four days ago - it had been sustained by Hashirama's life-force, some people even believed that it was a part of the reason for his mastery over mokuten. And, since it was dead, there was no chance that the Hokage's elder brother was alive.

"It looks like I really have inherited your legacy..." Tobirama murmured, as the last withered leaf fell from the tree. Hashirama's legacy was the burning Will of Fire for which the village had been named, a determination that had eventually consumed it's leader...

Tobirama froze as he sensed a wave of chakra that wasn't supposed to be there. It was at the edge of the forest, waiting.

*

At the edge of the village, seven swordsmen waited. Kumorigetsu Hozuko leaned on the tall Executioners Blade, driven point down into the soft earth, watching Ringoshi Samekuchi as he swung the bandaged Samehada through the air, filed teeth bared in a grin. Kumorigetsu had already claimed the right to fight Sarutobi - as leader of the group - while Ringoshi would mop up any ninja other than the sanin who was foloish enough to come close.

"I call dibs on Jisuke." Said the only woman in the group, Momoko Zanza as she studied her long fingernails, crusted with dried blood, Rai Roga crossed over her back.

"Then I'll fight their girl." Said Sakana Shirona, checking Hiramekarei's bandages. The other three - androgynous Asuko Shuichi with Kajoukiri's two small leaf blades twirling on their chain, Torushi with Suiryu wrapped around his emaciated form, and Shirya Kotetsu with Kaisohana coverring his entire right arm in razor ridges and hanging with fine chains tipped with razor spines - seemed content to help Ringoshi as necessary.

"I cna't wait to get revenge on this pathetic village. And then see what's stinking up that big forest over there." Ringoshi said, pointing to where the Forest of Death rose from behind its high fences.

"It's Kyuubi. THe most powerful Bijuu." Kumorigetsu said disdainfully. "Our mission is to acquire it."

"Then why fight their Jonin?" Asuko asked, catching the hilts of his Kajoukiri.

"A distraction. I'll leave a water clone here, and so will you, Shirya, We'll go to fetch the kyuubi for our Mizukage.

"Won't that be fun, hana-chan?" Shirya purred to his blade as he stood up with a grin.

*

Okay. I made up this cohort of swordsmen, and they may come back at a later date, or in their own fic (BIG maybe on that one) cos I like em. Now, I'm gonna give you the meanings of all the sword names I made up.

Kajoukiri - spiral-cut.  
Suiryu - water-dragon  
Kaisohana - seaweed-flower (actually, I think that this one may be my favourite name, even if the translation's kinda lame.) Other than that, my translations could be slightly off, but hey, most people - including me - will probably never know. And I shall try to be more frequent in updating.... ANd I know this is short, but it's spend a month editign it longer, or post it now, so hey.


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